Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I thought I knew what I was doing! 22yr old son has awful mental health issues - won't bore you here but awful self harm, OCD, beating himself up big time. 19 yr old son turning into a bigoted, misogystic, angry unemployed kid. He came home last night off his t**ts on Coke. All I do is clean him up after he gets himself in the 'good for the roses' and it's getting me down!! Feel like I've done it all wrong. Don't won't pity or sympathy- just simple advice from people who may have gone thru the same issues. Any. Advice (not insults) appreciated!!
Hi and welcome to the forum
I don't think anyone will insult you on here. We're a non judgemental and supportive bunch.
Lots of parents wonder what they've done during difficult times such as these. It's often not about something we have or haven't done and we have to accept that our children become adults in their own rights and ultimately have to take responsibility for themselves.
I would suggest talking to them at quieter times and maybe ask if there's anything you can do to help or find resources where they can seek help from.
Is your eldest getting any help from the local Mental Health services? If not, can the GP help you access some with him?
With relation to your youngest, is he engaging in any local activities or education? Will he talk to you about things or any other member of your family?
I understand it's worrying and frustrating but make sure you are looking after yourself and getting the support you need too. Hopefully some of our other members will add something here that you might find of use.
Good luck
I would go and see your GP to see if you can get counselling for yourself, because above all else, you need to look after yourself at the moment. It might also be worth contacting Al-Anon - that is a group for people who are affected by others drinking - they may know of similar groups for those affected by drug abuse of members of the family - it may help you a lot
Thanks both of you. Wish my son's had never grown up really! I know it's all part of life, but it stinks!! Heigh ho, onwards and upwards I guess
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.