[Solved] New to this..

I agree - she is the one in contempt of court, and that's what they don't like, so don't worry about that aspect.

hi,

so your ex suggested you see your child every weekend, fri-sun? thats a lot better than every other weekend. and if i was offered that, i would dump the 3-4 hours mid-week contact i get every 2 weeks.

Hi,

No she didn't offer that, she offered Saturday am until Sunday mid afternoon every week.

Daughter showed concerns to me about not having 'mummy weekends' and as I now work every alternate Saturday I can't collect at set time every week and as ex won't allow anyone else to collect daughter.. it wasn't going to work.

Also as we had the order, I felt that we should have been complying with it.. I would have been happy to make alternative suggestions to suit us both but ex refused to discuss anything other than what was offered by her and certainly would not pay to vary the order.

The court also agreed school holiday times, special occasions and 3-4 hours after school every week but ex refused to discuss this and interpretes the order her own way so all I was getting was the one overnight stay a week a week between set times with a drop off in the middle of the day so we couldn't go anywhere or do much on Sunday as had to leave for 2.15ish to drop off for 3pm.

Don't get me wrong, I was happy seeing my little girl every week but it was a struggle to not have any flexibility or input. I wanted more time at the weekend and everything else I was entitled to in the order but any discussion was refused so I felt no option but to ask for the order as it's a legal document and carries warnings etc.

I have had a date through for court in 5 weeks time now.. Don't know whether to contact and see if they can speed it up as it'll be close to 12 weeks since contact by the time it's heard..

Worth a try?

hi,

i see. my ex wanted sat-sun every other week on perm basis. she didnt get her way in court. you need more time for days out. yes you should ring court and see if any closer dates are available.

Hi,

Long time and plenty to update on!

Hearing went well, the panel were not very happy about ex breaching and shut her down on multiple occasions.

She alleged she has entered LG into therapy and is also seeking local support from SS to help our relationship so court ordered CAFCASS to do further safeguarding checks and session was adjourned for another date.. which kinda bit her in the [censored]!

Courted ordered the arrangements order was to be adhered to in the meantime and also enforced it. (which was what I originally went for..so that's a win!)

Numerous breaches and twisting of the order happened in the weeks that followed court session rolled around again and sadly adjourned again.

In the meantime, order is still to be adhered to.. Ex has been asked to supply a statement as to why she breached the order all the times she has and to supply a legitimate reason for doing so.

I have been asked to supply my "variations" as I asked the court to make the order black and white without any room for ambiguity for individual interpretation.

Can anyone offer advice on how to set this out?

Will this be a position statement?

I am going to ask for a little bit more contact as at present the ambiguous wording means ex is only allowing me as little as she can get away with but it's hard to maintain relationship especially as LG comes back each time as if reset switch has been flipped and we start again each time.. the alienation is SO REAL.

I am going to request:
Fri (school pick up) - Mon (school drop off) bi weekly
Wednesday (school pick up) - Friday (school drop off) bi weekly (on weeks I don't have weekend contact)
Special occasions, Christmas, birthdays etc.
Be allowed to take on holiday.

What are your thoughts? Do you think they will allow this?
I am hoping to see LG every week to keep contact regular and try reduce the time between visits which seems to cause LG to act distant.
I wish to have an active role in her education and feel the contact in the week would allow me to have an insight into her schooling which can only benefit her if both parents take an interest!

I had also considered instead of the school night overnights, to request a couple of days every week I see her but I didn't feel the time was sufficient to allow me to have an active interest in her schooling/homework/reading homework etc as we live 20 minutes away and if I wanted to take her home to my house, 40 minutes of the time would be spent travelling and would make the time a little bit rushed to get her home for bedtime..

Any help is appreciated.