[Solved] New member court order confussions

hi,

did the court type up the order or was it you or your ex's lawyer? section 1 and section 2 already sounds confusing and annoying. does order specify on exactly what days you do pick ups and drop offs?

HI Bill Thankyou for replying

Yes the court order was typed up by the court its a final order.

The section 1 discribes the lives with through all the week and this includes the every Friday morning drop off to school
but on a drop down pointer 2 ( I called it a section 2)

(2) with Father every other Friday after school.

You don't owe her anything for looking after your joint child.

Is your order a joint lives with, or does your child live with his mother and spend time with you?

Lives with both parents just the Mother has 1 extra night a week which secures her a home and benefits , child benefits etc.

Ive gone through years of mental abuse and bullying and the guilt tripping is her speaciality but she is ruthless when wanting to teach me a lesson, thought nothing of dissapearing for 2 days at at time but to the outside world butter wouldnt melt it was a terrible existance.

I applied to court for child saftey reasons and gained a live with order..

Am i right in thinking that what we had in place i can still act upon as its very crafty what she has done.

If im dropping our son of at school at 9 then if the school is closed that realy should be to mums house and my visitaion weekend starts on the end of school time.

Im now being told what to do with our son on our time together and if i dont comply she won't help me anymore so basically she just wont be at home to have our son so i can go to work.

No different from when i lived there, never knew if she would come back so i could go to work, im so desperate to break away from her manipulation and i honestly thought the court order was the end of it all.

seems to be a poorly worded order. i know how it is. my ex doesn't care about my work commitments. i'm in the middle of a career change so i can free up more time for myself and kids.

if she's unreasonable, either you can put up with this arrangement. or you could have a consultation with a solicitor. see if its possible to write up the order so its worded properly, and see if its possible to send that off to court to get it approved, without you having to make court appearances.

Thankyou Bill

There is no way i can live like this its exhausting and the way im being spoken to again is way over the boundaries of decent.

I had contacted some solictors but i think as there isnt much money involved they are not interested, they say to send over all details but they never call back.

I didnt know you can actually do that to a court if they would find it acceptable i would certainly try with a cover letter.

Do you know if its been done before?

certainly dont want to have to go through court again. I would be very fearfull she would go in ask to change address get full lives with and take him away It kind of opens the door to a 2 way street.

The reason you are probably not getting answers from solicitors is they may not know.

I got an opinion from a barrister during my Child Arrangements process and then used a direct access one to get my Order.

I have a spend time with Order to prevent my ex using me as default childcare. I would see if you can get a direct access barrister to give you advice. You probably need one with a minimum of 8 years experience. They are cheaper than solicitors but you need to pay them upfront.

Personally in your shoes I would live with the Order but work at disengaging from your ex by arranging my own support network to help care for my child - can you get a babysitter for those Fridays - and keeping communication to the absolute minimum in writing.

hi,

it could be possible. when i made my c100 application online, there was a section where it asked:

Do you have a signed draft court order you want the court to consider making legally binding?

If you’ve made a decision about your child arrangements with the other parent (the respondent) you can ask the court to consider making it legally binding. This is known as a consent order.

This question only applies to any new agreement. Do not include any previous agreements or orders the court may have made.

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I am not 100% sure. keep looking up solicitors and have a chat, ideally a free consultation. their not all jerks. you will come across a decent one sooner or later.

** as previous poster mentioned, you could look up a direct access barrister from direct access portal and see what they think.

Thank you Greengage as i have no idea regarding solicitors and barristers, i went to court self represented last time.
I have no money for legal but could find enough for a one off meeting.

I cant live with the order due to her thinking i owe her and im getting phone calls between 6am and all through work and even when im with my new partner ive been told strictly if i dont engage then i get left holding the baby the abuse on the phone is awfull.

Due to covid i have no network i literaly have nobody and my family is very small.

Family have helped me get this far pre covid but i realised i couldnt carry on after last weeks abuse through work i was almost in breakdown.

Bill wouldnt that be what they did in this case?
ill have to do some googling as i thought when the agreement was put to the court and drawn up by the court that was binding.
it seems such a mindfiled and its utter madness I rarely ring her i avoid it like the plague , i cope with all eventualites i dont understand how she can still wnat to be so much in communication....she simple wont let me be happy.

you should not have to put up with that nonsense while at work. sounds like harassment. if i were you i would report it:

https://www.met.police.uk/ro/report/ocr/af/how-to-report-a-crime/

with phone calls from 6am, keep your phone on do not disturb/silent overnight and at work if you have to.