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Afternoon Gents and whom it may concern 😉
Quick intro- I found out Autumn last year that I'm a Dad after an ex friend walked into a pub and handed me a baby (long story short right there)- difficult times as i was in more or less a 9 month relationship.
Private DNA test done to confirm I'm a parent and then an intro to my family and start of monthly contact.
Contact then ends in November, with a text coming through that due to safety reasons (and most likely that i was in a relationship) no more contact.
Right now mobile phone number has been cut off and I have no current address.
I have looked at this forum a little, but was hoping regulars/mods could point me out to certain posts/articles etc.
I would like to find out where she lives at the moment as i believe she will re-instate contact (I'm single now) if i am able to make contact. i would like to doi this before initiating any sort of legal action and I guess still remain civil.
I was thinking of using a people tracing agent (googled that mouthful)- i do have (a) bank details as Im making regular monthly agreed deposits (b) previous addresses (c) Her Full name DOB and babys Name DOB.
Any recommendations/pointers, etc? This is my first baby and this is all new to me.
Thanks in advance.
I chose the username as Pressure makes Diamonds!
Hi and welcome to the forum
It's entirely up to you how you go about this, and I understand you would like to avoid court action, however, if you later end up in court, it would be better for you to take an official route now. You can use a form C4 to locate the mother and child.
Best of luck
Thanks for the heads up Yoda- i'll check that form out
My advice would be to be very careful how you go about this.
I mean no disrespect and certainly not trying to provoke an argument here - simply playing the Devil's Advocate.....put yourself in your ex's shoes for a moment.
She cut contact with you for whatever her reasoning was, you then turn up on her doorstep asking to see your child after 7/8mths and because you're single you think that will be good enough for her to allow you contact again.....here's where i see a potential problem for you.
Many on here have tried to contact ex's to get contact re-instated after it's been stopped and have found themselves quickly slapped with harassment warnings or even Non-Molestation orders and such like. That’s not to say it will happen to you but what i’m getting at is you really need to protect yourself going forwards from here.
As Yoda has said, it would be better to do it officially then you have a trail of proof that you are not harassing or threatening etc… you couldn’t dream up some of the claims you read about or people like myself have gone through to try and then prove you’re not what the ex says!
If you do try anything to find her make sure you have some way to prove yourself later should you need to, don’t phone her – text her or email or send recorded delivery letter (keep a copy obviously), anything that you can prove with date / times can be used to back you up should you need it.
Fingers crossed you have a reasonable ex that will see you are wanting to do the right thing by your child, if not then this forum is full of knowledgeable people who will offer good sound advice.
My advice would be to be very careful how you go about this.
Many on here have tried to contact ex's to get contact re-instated after it's been stopped and have found themselves quickly slapped with harassment warnings or even Non-Molestation orders and such like. That’s not to say it will happen to you but what i’m getting at is you really need to protect yourself going forwards from here.
.
Dad-I-D, hindsight is a great thing. I never saw your post until recently and yes you were so right. Knocked and now a non- mol order. I've contested it (DV, all untrue). Have a final hearing in a couple of months. The Judge was sympathetic. I will post questions in relevant part of the forum, but felt compelled to update yourself and Yoda.
Cheers
Thanks for the update...What a pity you didn't catch Dad-i-ds last post, it might have saved a whole lot of trouble.
Glad to hear that the judge is sympathetic, let's hope you get the right verdict and can move it on, you can make a further application within this case, for a Child Arrangements Order, if contact isn't sorted out.
All the best
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