[Solved] new here

Hi there

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, your friends sound pretty immature to act that way! I'm guessing your a young man and perhaps your friends haven't become parents yet, so have little understanding or interests in your new role.

Have you tried talking to your partner about what's happened and how you're feeling?

It might help to get out a little more, but I understand how daunting that might be. Try and find out if there are any Dad and baby groups in your area, or if you have an interest or hobby, you might find that there are groups/clubs where you can meet like minded people. Volunteering is also a good way of meeting new people too.

I'm sure others will be along to give you some advice too.

All the best

Hi, do you have any hobbies that you can take some time out (in return for looking after your son sometimes so your partner can do the same) and mix with others with the same interest? With any luck, some of those will also be parents, so you can swap stories and experiences with them.

i have tried talking to my partner about our issues but every time we do we just end up fighting
its hard to get out from being round her all the time as she suffers with ocd and bpd so i am having to try and manage to cope with a obsessive unstable woman who changes at the drop of a hat

i have tried looking for dad groups round my local area but i havent had much luck so far, only found out bout this website through our local childrens center

im 26 atm and my partner is 24 and we both conflict on what we need to do with our lives cos shes wanting to have a night out but i have gone off the idea of having a drink
most of my friends arent parents and still like to party so i understand and empathise with my other half bout wanting to go out for a drink so we could socialise again
i just dont like how drinking makes me act as a person so i stay away from it now

never thought of volunteering before but i will look into it as i do like to help people when i can

i havent had much time to myself over the past 3 years (the length of our relationship) as where she was quite ill i ended up doing lots for her but now we have both come to the agreement that we need to find things to do seperate as well as together as a couple and family on the days we want to do each thing but we just can't seem to find the balanace
more so me than her because i try to focus on the issue at hand
i.e: if my son is unsettled ill focus on him, once hes settled i try to talk to her bout what is going on and where we are at etc and we just seem to argue all the time when we do speak

sometimes i feel like we are growing massivley apart but i just cant seem to tell her that without some long arguement that doesnt calm down

sorry for the late/long reply i just have lots on my mind and noone to talk to about it all cos no matter what i feel like im on my own with this situation

It's easy to feel alone in these situations, so be kind to yourself. It sounds like you've been giving a lot of support and maybe neglecting yourself? As has been said, a hobby or volunteering might help you feel a bit happier.

In respect of the relationship, have you considered trying counselling together? You could contact Relate and see what is available in your area?

Hi There,

Congratulations on the birth of your son, as said it can be difficult when a baby arrives, everything changes and it takes some adjustments.

As Yoda has said maybe some counselling would help you get some way of working better together.

as for getting out, have you thought about joining a gym, start going regularly and you will be out of the house and getting fit at the same time.

GTTS