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[Solved] New here

 
(@frustrateddad2411)
Active Member Registered

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum. I've joined to get advice and share my experience its been a pretty horrid one as these tings are. I have been going through family court now for almost 2 years. We got the final order last November but my ex breached this so i had to apply for an enforcement hearing which started in Feb. The final enforcement hearing was for May but this got cancelled due to coronavirus and we have a telephone conversation with the legal advisor which was a waste of time, final hearing is now arranged for July 24th, im hoping this will be face to face.

i ahvent seen my daughter since the start of this pandemic, my ex stopped all contact with no discussion just told me i wasnt seeing my daughter, we agreed telephone contact but my daughter only likes to text and this has to be through her mums phone so sometimes i dont know if its actually my daughter im texting.

My ex has "kindly" agreed to contact resuming from fathers day weekend but as long as she can dictate. My ex doesnt like my new partner, even though we have been together over 2 years and are expecting a baby, something my duaghter is very excited about, my ex is saying that my daughter cant be with anyone else but me, i have to be present at all times. so in theory i couldn't pop to the shop and my daughter be left with my partner who she has a fantastic relationship with. unless i agree to this im not allowed to see my daughter and my ex has also said she will ask a judge to put it in the order.

Would a judge actually order that? My ex tried this in feb but the judge told her it was a completely unreasonable request, but im so worried she will get her way now?! The only person who would suffer in that situation is my daughter, she wouldn't be able to have a sleep over at her grandparents or cousins etc, she couldn't go shopping with my current partner and our baby for example unless im present, it just seems ridiculous and totally unfair. do you think a judge would order this?

I have found the system to be so unjust, i applied for the first court order and also applied for the enforcement, its crazy that someone can breach the order yet im the one who pays. I will always fight and pay so i see my daughter it just doesn't seem fair the way the set up is. I have my daughter for 5 nights out of 14 due to my shifts at work, as part of the enforcement hearing we could ask to vary the order and i have asked for full 50/50 as there is no discussion with my ex, so while we are supposed to mutually agree school holidays its what she says or nothing, 7 days each would eradicate this communication issue, she objected this in her statement as she says my daughter shouldnt be cared for by "subsequent" partners, something again seems silly when we are a family unit.

please tell me im not the only one having these issues!

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 10/06/2020 3:42 pm
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member

hi,

i know how it is. my ex didn't get along with my mum. in my order (recitals part) it states that i am to not leave my kids with my mum. lol. such nonsense. your ex is just being controlling and annoying. as long as theres no child welfare issues, why shouldn't your kids spend time with your partner, family? am sure my ex will start acting up if she hears i got married one day. just have to put up with her rubbish to some extent. last time she complained that i never told her that our daughter spent a night at my sisters. just 15 minutes drive away. i just ignored her.

at your next hearing, ask for regular video calls with your child. its the standard arrangement during this covid time.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10/06/2020 4:09 pm
(@frustrateddad2411)
Active Member Registered

Thanks for the reply.

the only stipulation there has ever been is that we dont go to my dads house has his new wife has a son who we could say maybe isnt all there... i agreed to that no problem as my dad would visit us at our house.

I find it so unreasonable that she will even ask for this new change now, as i say the only person who would suffer is my daughter. Surley she would have to have a very good reason to want it and the judge would ask for these? She has always maintained in court she doesnt have a problem with my partner so why now can my daughter not be left with her.

I hope as the judge told her it was unreasonable in Feb they do the same this time round!

its crazy how she whats to control everything, does she not understand that as long as our daughter is safe and happy when she is with either of us that is the most important not this point scoring she is trying to achieve by thinking she can get one over on me

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 10/06/2020 4:48 pm
(@warwickshire1)
Prominent Member Registered

I would take any contact you can get until july 24th. Its better than no contact whatsoever. Whatever contact you accept now will have no impact on final order that is made. The courts will just see it as you put children first and jumped through hoops to maintain contact and also there is a ruling from lord McFarlane which says any interim arrangements during covid 19 are temporary and in no way considered in final orders that are

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10/06/2020 6:18 pm
(@chapter)
Trusted Member Registered

Warwickshire when you say there’s a ruling are you referring to the guidance by the president or is there a case law?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15/06/2020 1:28 am
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member
(@chapter)
Trusted Member Registered

Cheers. I am aware of the guidance, just that Warwickshire used the word ruling.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15/06/2020 1:47 am
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