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please bare with me this is a longer one,
December 2018 me and partner welcomed twins, which was a big change for us we are 25, we have an older daughter also, since the twins have arrived its been nothing but arguing and fights, it doesn't help that im not great with babies anyway ( i wasn't with our 1st either), there has been a lot of stress lately with the twins finances while she is on maternity and what not, i moved my work home to help her when I can and although i don't help alot during work hours due to being busy she is still not happy that i help at all she expects me to drop everything at beck and call which isn't always possible,
the twins haven't been well and are now in the teething stage making things 10 X harder with the crying and restlessness which in turn is causing my partner lack of sleep and stress, to make it worst im a very heavy sleeper so i don't always wake to them stirring where are she would wake if one of them coughed and she is always on at me about that.
i don't normally turn to asking for advise and help but it has got to the point where im constantly braking down when on my own I even considered pouring the kettle on myself one of the evenings while making bottles just to be gone for a while and this shouldn't be the case, im not a socially outgoing person anyway so don't really have anyone i could turn to to discuss this with and i just needed to get it out there in the open.
sorry if i posted this in the wrong section but it would be a great help to hear from other people who have possibly felt similar, or could offer advice
thank you
Hi and welcome.
In the first instance, I would go to see your GP to talk it out, and be totally honest with him/her as you have been on here. It might also be worth getting couple counselling as I think you both need to be able to speak to someone who is independent and non-judgemental to see if there is a way you can work out a rota, and recognise where you both have strengths that you can make the best of.
Hi there
I’m sorry that you’re struggling so badly, it’s hard enough to deal with two new arrivals at once, never mind that you and your partner are arguing all the time... and money worries compound your situation even more.
Four months in and you’re both tired, everything becomes magnified at this point. I think most new parents can completely relate to this stage in a babies life, the constant feeds and nappy changes and lack of sleep take their toll, with twins that’s times two.
The fact that you’re breaking down and having thoughts of self harm, is worrying and I think you need some extra support. Have you been able to talk to your partner about how you feel? I think that regardless of the tension between you, it’s important that you talk to her.
Perhaps a solution would be to move your work back out of the home , to give you abreak... not everyone is a natural parent, some of us find it harder to cope with, especially in the first few months.
If your low mood continues I would advise you go and speak to your GP about it, they might feel it helpful to give you a short course of anti depressants to help you over this bad patch. We talk about women having post natal depression, but men can suffer from this too. Here’s some more info on it
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, coming here to open up is a good first step... we are here to,listen and to try and support you. Please don’t struggle on alone.
All the best and keep talking.
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