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Hi everyone this is the first time I have seen a forum for Dads and read some good information. But I'm stuck at a junction and don't know which way to turn. I have a 6 year old daughter with my ex girlfriend and we split up 6 years ago. I have a fiancė and been with her for 4 years but my ex keeps saying that my partner has nothing to do with what's going on. My daughter has been having emotional problems plus when she is in my ex's care her mum doesn't bother doing anything with her and it's got to the point now that my daughter gets upset and says she wishes she wasn't born cause her mum don't bother with her or see her. I try to reassure my daughter I will try and see if I can get her mum to spend more time with her and do stuff with her. I went to mediation and been trialing a parent plan but my daughter still tells me after 3 months of doing the parent plan everything is still the same. I am going to speak to school when kids go back in September so they can help support with regard to her feelings. Cause my daughter is to scared to talk to her family about her feelings accept for me. She feels confident enough to talk to me but I tell her if she has any concerns or upset about anything even if I have done anything she should tell an adult or teacher so they can help her. But my ex keeps having ago and trying to turn everything round onto me. But her mum doesn't get my daughter washed or showered or brush her teeth or play with her. But I feel I have done everything I can I took her to court in 2013 and got shared access even tho social services said my daughter should live with me. I have gone to mediation but my ex wont go back to mediation to sign the paperwork to agree to new parent plan. But yet the ex don't want my ex to have a say in anything even tho my fiancė is supporting me and is upset with how bad the ex is treating my daughter. Sorry for the long post but looking for some advice or some pointers what to do next or am I doing something wrong. Any advice would be grateful
Hi There,
I have removed your daughters name from your post, it's best to keep things like that private.
I think you are right in speaking with the school the more support she has the better, If SS feel that she would be better with you, then you could apply to the courts for a residency order, it sounds as though at 6 your daughter would want this. Although at 6 she is young, Cafcass would probably be involved and they may speak with your daughter about what has been happening which would then go in the report.
GTTS
Thank you for removing my daughters name didn't realise i had so thank you for that.
I will be speaking to citizens advice tomorrow to see what help I can get or help trying to find a affordable solicitor to go back to court as I am on a low income.
When I went to court in 2013 the ex got the residency order but shared residency. The courts said the only reason why I didn't get it was because I didn't have a close network of friends and family. But since then I am with someone else and getting married and have close network of friends and family. So I am hopefully when I go back to court.
Thank you for your reply
Just another thought - is your usename actually your name? If so, then you may want to change this also - we would need the site admin to do this, but it's a simple change. Let us know if you do.
Hi there
As you already have an order in place from 2013, you would need to make an application to vary the existing order, and you would be applying for a Child Arrangements Order, to have your daughter live with you. The form you need is still the C100. It might be helpful for you to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, you'll get face to face advice and support from others in a similar situation. Here's a link to their website where you'll find details of meetings nationally
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
Unfortunately legal aid is no longer available for private family cases, but if you're on a low income you might be eligible for a part or full exemption from the court fee, which is usually £215.
Have you spoken to Social Services about your concerns recently? It might also be a good idea to speak to your daughters GP about the things that are upsetting her. I'm sure the school will want to provide additional support for your daughter, it's upsetting that she feels so worthless at such a young age.
Many Dads here have gone to court without a solicitor, with much success, we will do as much as we can to advise and support you. If you have any questions,please just ask.
All the best
Thank you so much for the replies that I got it's nice to see I'm not on my own and that it's not me being to over protective which I can be when it comes to my little princess. My profile is my name I don't mind my username being my name but if you think it needs changing then happy for it to be changed.
I will have a look at that link in the reply as that sounds really good as been nice to talk to other dad's that are going or been through similar to me. I have spoke to social services recently they said to speak to school to see if they can provide support as what my daughter is going through isn't classed as safe garding issue which is crazy. They say on the website when to get in touch.
Thank you for all of your support and advice I am very grateful
The reason I suggest changing your name is that your ex might find you if she googles your name. It's much better to be anonymous when posting about these matters as family court proceedings are confidential, and posting them publicly where the participants can be identified then technically becomes contempt of court. I'll ask the admins to sort it with you.
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