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Guest
Cal Sunday, 14 August 2016
I have my son every weekend and school holidays, I have had him for 6 weeks of the summer holidays his mum has called him once during the holidays. She has not bothered to get him anything for starting school tomorrow myself and my partner have got him all his new stuff not that I mind but I pay maintenance she gets all the benefits for him not that iam one bit interested in the cash but I have done this for 6 year. She has moved house and therefore my son has moved school. When he was at his previous school he had an attendance officer was regularly late and missed the majority of school. Me and my partner work and I have another child at 1 and I live in Glasgow and she lived in east Kilbride so it was not easy for me to deal with his schooling the way I wanted to and when I told the school that I needed informed on the days my son was not attending school and how his progress was they failed to contact me.
He regularly stays with her at her friends houses which concerns me as these people are not responsible adults and she tells my son they are his "Aunts".
She has no motherly instincts i dont doubt she loves him! But she doesnt provide the care he needs I have contacted social services in the passed because my son was living in a unsafe environment when he was 2 and missed very important immunisation and he was placed on a supervision order.
I firmly believe my son is a " meal ticket" for my ex to fund her lifestyle ad I said previously I have him every weekend Friday to Sunday night never missed one in 6 year I used to take him Thursday to Monday when he was 1-4 years old I also enrolled him in a nursery were I live taught hard for them just to take him the two days I had him as my ex opionin on nursery was I didn't go didn't do me any harm lol. She couldn't be bothered is the real reason same as she can't be bothered getting up and taking her son to school Mon to Fri shed rather have in his room watching countless DVDs for an education.
Iam looking for some peoples advice on what I should do I was thinking of keeping him and not returning him and just dealing with his welfare myself a c tell her were to go? Or getting a parental responsibility order ?
She also dosnt engage with me unless its to find out were her money is each month (my sons money but it gos on her lifestyle
IHi there
If as you say your son is her meal ticket, she is unlikely to take you keeping him laying down! If you kept him shes likely to apply to court for his return. As he isn't enrolled in school where you. Live, it would mean he would miss the start and she may call the police to get him back. Are you mnamed on his birth certificate?
I'm not confident to advise on Scotttish Family Law as it differs from the laws here in England, but unless there's serious risk of harm to him the courts are unlikely to allow him to remain with you and he isn't old enough for his wishes to carry a lot of weight.
What if you called her and suggested that as she has had no contact with him apart from one phone call how would she feel if he stayed with you and arrange for her to see him regularly....just to see what she says? At least you would be able to gauge her feelings about it.
It might be useful to talk to someone about the legal situation, here's a link to the Scottish Childrens Legal Centre, they have a helpline that you can call
www.sclc.org.uk
You could also think about getting more Information and support from The Families Need Fathers organisation. Here's a link to their website which gives details of where and when they meet and also a contact number of the regional organisers in Scotland, they may be able to advise you about what to do. You'll find the details for Scottish meetings at the bottom of the page.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
Best of luck
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