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Hi guys,
Looking for a bit of advice basically. A few weeks ago my wife decided to leave but took our 3 yr old son with her. Claiming domestic violence as the reason for leaving (a total lie), woman's aid put her in a refuge. We are not allowed to contact each other. So i have had no contact with him for 6 weeks now. I approached social services to request access and after two weeks they came to see me. My wife is keen for me to see my son but child protection are using my previous involvement with drugs as a excuse to stop my access. Two years ago i started using class a’s to cope with the stress i was under then. But 6 months later i voluntarily self-referred to our local drug & alcohol service. After waiting 6 months to get a place in the scheme i finally began treatment last april. Although i struggled initially but eventually by october 2017, i started giving clean tests and even kicked the weed over xmas. I was signed up to the methodone program and slowly began to reduce my dosage month by month. Now, immediately following her departure, i basically fell apart and couldnt function for 3 days. Unfortunately if u miss 3 consecutive days u r kicked off the program until u see the doctor there. In total i was not receiving treatment for 17 days. I tried my best not to transgress but after 14 days i broke, it was just too much for me to cope with on top of all the upheaval and not seeing my son, who is autistic and will only respond to me and even his mother will admit that. Furthermore, on restarting treatment, u have to start in low dose and work up to your way up to your original dose. Consequently i was tested twice in one week and gave positive test results on both. That was march. I have since, done two more tests and both were clean again, and now that im on my full dose im fine. But social services have changed their minds and refuse to let me see him. Where do i stand here. Everyone who knows me will say im not violent and love my son more than myself. I am no threat to his welbeing at all. But more importantly, he needs me in his life and he needs gis confort zone, his home since birth. Please help guys im getting ill with worry, havent slept in 4 weeks
Hi there
Social Services won't see the bigger picture, all they will see is the facts of your failed tests in March, which is very recent. It's going to take time to reassure them that you are back on track and are no longer using. This will be even more important to them, as your son has special needs and your wife has made allegations of violence against you.
I urge you to stay strong for your child, stick to the programme and work with them. It will be hard but that's what's required I'm afraid.
Perhaps you could suggest supervised contact, he will be very confused and missing you and all the things that are so familiar to him, I understand that change and upheaval are much worse for autistic children to deal with.
I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. All the best
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