[Solved] Mother wants to vary 50/50 shared care

Hi there

There must have been good reasons for the shared care order to be granted in the first place, shrinking clothes isn't really a good enough reason to change things!

Im assuming your new daughter is also his sister? What other siblings does he have and does his mother have other children too? Courts don't like to separate siblings and as he's settled and happy I would hope that's enough for the court to leave things as they are, reducing his time with you and his siblings isn't in his best interests.

Have you spoken to the school? Is his attendance good and is he meeting all of his developmental and educational targets?

Next time he says he's going to live with mummy I would just say that he already lives with you both and you love him very much, just as mummy does.

As far as being a Litigant in person, it's doable and many dads here have gone it alone with much success. We will do all we can to advise and support you along the way.

Do you have a date for the hearing? It would be a good idea to prepare a brief position statement to take with you to the hearing, just a bit of background and what you would like to happen.

CAFCASS will be in touch with you to prepare a basic safeguarding report for the court, called a schedule 2 letter, just be open and child centred, it's never a good idea to bad mouth the mother, but it's ok to voice any concerns.

All the best

He lives with me almost full time she refused to return him which printed the original court case m. I had to get an emergency order to have him returned. Then my solicitor at the time talked me into sharing care which I see now is in his best interest.

His mother has no children. Myself and partner have a child together and she has 2 from previous relationship who cane to live with us when they where 5month old and 1 year old.

He’s meeting all targets but has some behaviour issues which school are working with our child and us to iron out. He is only 4 so they are doing their upmost best.

No dates yet her solicitor confirmed they where only sent on the 23rd January.

Will she have to put all her reasons in these papers so I can see them or will I get some surprises at court?

I’m quite happy to be a lip but have got a solicitor who I can pay for 1 hour sessions for advice but can’t afford the £700 per court session.

I have a file as thick as my arm but obviously I don’t want to skate his mother but feel with the things I want to say will come across as I am doing.

Courts are reluctant to separate siblings, or overturn previous orders without cause.

There's a section on the application form which asks the applicant why the application is being made, so there should be a brief explanation there, but this will be developed further during the hearings.

It's ok to express genuine concerns and the court should have access to the previous case file, CAFCASS will also access any previous history involving local authority social services and police records.

It's better not to think too far ahead, prepare well and try and remain calm and reasonable, if she a good mum there's nothing wrong with saying that, try and give a balanced view of the situation.

Then my solicitor at the time talked me into sharing care which I see now is in his best interest.

Would you mind going into more detail about how you see shared care being in his best interests ? I think that could be really helpful to other dads who want shared care but may face opposition.

Did she attempt mediation ? I thought you had to go through mediation before a court would accept an application to vary an order ?

On another note, if you are worried about getting surprises at court, this article might interest you:

http://becket-chambers.co.uk/2017/06/30/duties-towards-litigants-person-timely-reminder/

50/50 shared care works brilliant because it gives both parents that time with their child. They don’t have to go 1 week with 1 day 2 weeks with another day. The child is with both parents equal time week in week out and do’s not miss out on anytime with each parent and grows up being involved.

We went to mediation and I put a stop to it as the mediator and my child’s mother both wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise ways. It was all very much for the mother.

She’s not a perfect mum and will do what she can to get one over on me all the time, she’s very clever and cunning. I can’t go into too much detail but I obviously feel she is playing mind games with our child and a few other things.