[Solved] Mother moving away

Hi there, and sympathies. It's always tough when one parent thinks they have the right to distance their children from the other parent, but unfortunately, many are being allowed to do so.

The fact remains that -legally- you are financially responsible to your child until he/she is at least 18. How much Child Maintenance you are responsible for paying is calculated on your earnings as well as the number of nights the child spends under your care - this is often a clear win/win incentive for many 'Resident' parents to restrict contact as much as possible. Although you are paying the mother, it's better you view the money as belonging to your child. I let my son know that apart from what I buy him when he's with me, I also contribute money during the times he is with his mum, so he has an idea that at least some of the nice things his mum gets him are also paid for by me. I'm overpaying the mum according to the maintenance calculator,but I view this as his money, not hers, and I'd rather not have him doing without during the time he is with his mum.

Why is she moving to Sheffield? Does she have family connections there? How far will the distance be from where you are now? My son was moved over 200 miles away by his mother. She did have family connections where she moved to, but the driving motive was clearly to diminish my son's relationship with me, as she felt threatened by the fact we wanted more time with each other. You could do what I did - I took her to Court on a joint Prohibitive Steps Order (to challenge the move) and Child Arrangements Order (which will define the time the child spends with each parent). For a variety of reasons, I dropped my opposition to the move -the defined time was always the most important one for me, and fortunately the Judge trebled the time my son and I spend together once I made it clear I was prepared to move.

I would say your first step is to arrange to have mediation. This is necessary now before you can proceed to court. If she doesn't go for it, or she does and it breaks down, the mediator will sign it off and you can then make an application to court for the two orders I've mentioned above.

Keep in there, and good luck.

Hi there,

regardless of where she lives, you're still liable for the same amount. Contact and finances are 2 totally separate issues.

Do you have a court order in place for your contact? If you do, she could be breaching this with the potential move.

If you don't have a court order in place, it's worth considering mediation and a subsequent court application for contact wherever she will be living ( if mediation isn't successful).

Apologies for using your post phil232 to ask Yoda a question regarding his reply to you.

Yoda enquires if there is, quote, "a court order in place for your contact?" If there is, does this make it difficult or even stop the mother taking the children and moving further away from the father?

Hi MOAF

To answer your question, if there is an order in place, say for midweek contact and the mother moved away she would be breaching the order and in theory she would need to apply to vary it....