Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi all. Had a quick look through the forum but couldn't see anything recent that related to my query.
I was hoping for some advice please...
I am currently expecting my first child. Myself and the mother are separated. We have agreed to sort the child maintenance between us rather than getting the CSA involved.
I expect a standing order to leave my account each month for the set agreed amount.
I want to 'cover my [censored]' so to speak. Do I need to obtain a written agreement with the mother? Also, should I keep statements as proof as payment to her?
Thanks in advance!
Hi there,
All I would do is ensure that the standing order reference is marked as "child maintenance" as long as you can show you have paid then you will be ok.
If in the future the mother decides to change the arrangement and go through CSA/CMS they will only be able to act from the point that she contacts them, and by having the reference clear on the bank statements you will be able to show you have paid the money to her account.
GTTS
Hi there,
All I would do is ensure that the standing order reference is marked as "child maintenance" as long as you can show you have paid then you will be ok.
If in the future the mother decides to change the arrangement and go through CSA/CMS they will only be able to act from the point that she contacts them, and by having the reference clear on the bank statements you will be able to show you have paid the money to her account.
GTTS
Hi - thanks for the reply.
You have backed up my thoughts and reassured me.
😉
Hey there.!,,
Also to back up GTTS, I would reinforce the entire thing with a calculation made by the Child Maintenance Options people. They are NOT the csa and are confidential people.
they can write you a letter based on your income as to how much they estimate you should pay. This just helps a little with the whole thing.
It also means you are still making a private arrangement as well but have had help on the figure work and can also show that you've done everything in your power to keep it a private arrangement and showing you don't wish to under pay her either.
Hope that helps
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.