[Solved] Lured to nursery

Hi Ferfer.
I absolutely agree with you. My wife was okish, one day. The next I'm arrested for allegations of DV. How quickly she changed, when I found out she was cheating again.. she also had screens around her in court aswell. Like you, my wife couldn't look at me, after she stole all the money from our account, and left me homeless. She doesn't want to see the hurt and pain in my eyes. Cause of what she done to me. Now I'm fighting to see my children, against a woman who I was married to for 14 years, who I stupidly thought loved and cared for me. Just how wrong I was...

If you're having any communication at all, perhaps ask her why she did that in email or text?

It does sound like she's trying to build a picture, so I would be very wary. At the very least, your call log would show she called you, not the other way around.

It might be worth taking some advice from the police or at least asking them to log the incident if they will.

Yes she is setting you up.

There is good advice all over this site and I followed it just in time.

The main point to get into your own head is you are no longer in a relationship with her it is not your job to sort out her issues like this especially with someone who is trying to get you in trouble. She needs to go to other people or organisations to help her.

So block her phone number(s) on your phone so all her calls go to voicemail. Only respond to voicemails and messages where it is a direct emergency involving your child. (This is not one)

For all other issues respond by email later in the day/next day simply stating that as you are separated she should contact [name of appropriate organisation] to help her.

Keep doing this until she stops calling and messaging you with her problems. Do not send emails later than 9pm or earlier than about 8am as she will try to use the time of emails to claim harrassment later when she runs to the police/court with harrassment allegations.

If she is then abusive on the phone in any voicemail as she knows she is being recorded then you can use this in Court if necessary.

If she is then abusive on the phone in any voicemail as she knows she is being recorded then you can use this in Court if necessary.

In addition to this, you can get apps to allow you to record phone conversations - get one of these and tell her at the start of the conversation she is being recorded - this will allow you to use it in court, but actually, more likely, it will stop her being abusive in the first place.

This is standard practice I'm afraid so don't fall for it, try and avoid any incidents like this the best you can and log it all down like has been suggested, My ex did the same and she had everyone believe I was a controlling abusive nutter Cafcass, Her health visitor, social services, the contact centre manager and staff all fell for it and she even got them all to write to the court explaining how my ex feared for her safety because of me, all this just made court worse and dragged everything out for longer, I help 10's of dads through court and the way the mother acts is a carbon copy of each case.

Keep on trucking mate

all the best

Slim 🙂