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hi all
Recently my wife called me from the nursery saying she has locked herself out of the car and needed me to come with the spare key from our house we both live in but going through a divorce.
When I got there 20 minutes later she was not to be seen but sent the nursery manager out saying she was too anxious scared to come out and wanted me to hand over the keys to the manager and give her the spare keys .
I refused (on the basis I don’t hand over keys to a stranger )and she came out and the door opened and she got the keys out from her handbag .
My concern is she involving nursery staff now trying to paint a picture she is scared of me when there is no such thing . This on a background of months of emails accusing of emotional domestic abuse .
Whilst nothing happened yet she is clearly setting me up ?
She is the controlling person . Unfortunately the staff will see her as the anxious mother and believe her no doubt .
Not sure at this stage what I can do ? If anything ?
My wife is doing the same. Although she had no problem seeing me and talking to me before this entire storm kicked off, she asks for screens in court and separate waiting rooms because she has decided to be scared of me now? I know she does not want to see me/talk to me, because she is worried I am going to ask her why she made up such horrific lies.
unfortunately, women use their skill of playing the afraid/abused woman, and everyone laps it up. Just keep doing what you are doing, document every call or text she sends you. If you can, record your calls, as it is odd that she called you to help but then hid from you?
My son's mother has behaved in a similar fashion, and tries to paint a similar picture. For this reason, I keep contact with her as indirect (text messages) or as brief and public (handovers happen in a public space) as possible. I will only engage in any sort of direct conversation with her in person - which is sometimes necessary - in the presence of others.
All you can do is show that you are focused on your child, be yourself, and if possible become as engaged as you reasonably can with the nursery. One of the problems I found when my son was in nursery was because my son's mother rarely permitted me doing the school run to or from nursery, the staff didn't get to know me. When my son started at primary school I made sure I was connected and engaged with school on my own terms from the very start, and was on a far more equal footing. This primary school has been far more perceptive at seeing my son's mother is not at straightforward as she might initially have appeared to be, and all I've had to do is just be myself and focus on my son.
hi Aqua,
going forward, dont repeat this. if shes locked out of her car or stranded on a mountain, tell her to ring AA. theres no telling what shes up to.
I agree entirely, you need to protect yourself, and you are also no longer obliged to assist her because she's been stupid.
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