[Solved] Last Minute Advice?

Thanks a lot for your reply!! If I give a little more information I may be able to give you a better understanding of the situation.

I do not feel that I will get overnight stays as I still live at home with my parents ( still at uni ) but do plan to move out once I have a job. Furthermore my daughter sleeps in a single bed with her mom. This is something I raised in the first report. In terms of the house, my mother is a very house proud woman so I have no issues at all about that as the house is immaculate. Would cafcass be ok with the idea of my daughter sleeping in my room in a cot if she would go in one or actually with me ? Which I don’t like the idea of myself.

In terms of what I’m asking for I would like every Wednesday night, to be took home to her mom after as she is only 14 months old at the moment. I would also like every other full weekend but every single Sunday day if they would give me that also.

Since the last hearing I have been given contact by the mother all be it with her present around 7 times so surely this can eliminate the ridiculous domestic violence allegations she threw at me. I have also completed half of a parenting course which I will actually finish the week after my section 7 hearing.

I hope this makes things clearer and thank you again!!

My boyfriend's daughter is almost 13 months. He has been given overnights once contact has been established at around 3 months (according to the adjustment of the child). He currently lives in a studio flat. So the baby will of course sleep in the cot next to him. The social worker had zero concerns around this. It is quite normal for young children to share the parents room, so don't let that concern you. As for bed sharing, this wouldn't really be an issue for a child of that age. For example all my children still regularly climb in my bed at night, sometimes even starting off in there, depending on the situation. If your daughter is used to bed sharing, she may prefer this with you so. Or she may only associate this with mum and be perfectly okay in a cot at yours.

The section 7 report for my boyfriend has recommended short frequent contacts 3/4 days a eeek, building up the time each week, leading to overnights by 3 months. They would support a shared care application when the relationship is established andthe child a little older.

They will want to observe 2 contacts with your child also.

Thanks so much again for your help!!

In this case I most definitely will be going for overnight stays!!
I will offer to sleep with her if necessary and I have no issue with it personally I Just feel going forward as she gets bigger it will become a problem potentially.

I’m definitely in it for the long run as she completely turns down me ever having our daughter on my own for some stupid reason. I think it’s as she doesn’t really have anyone else but our daughter now we have split up. So I’m guessing I will get contact at the next hearing so by the time we finish I will have a bond again!!

Just thought Id give a quick update after my section 7 interview yesterday.

The officer came to my house and was a lovely woman from what I gathered from her. She seemed to fully back my points throughout. As soon as i told the officer that I've been having contact with my daughter recently and before christmas she was simply all on my side. Considering the ex has been making allegations of DV from me why would she possibly allow supervised contact with the mother present. The officer had a risk assessment and DV papers to fill in which she told me she isn't going to do them now as its evident its the mother playing games!! I also presented the Police notice that i received from the police in january due to "harassment" which again she looked at and threw to the side!

She was a little annoyed with me not really knowing what I wanted from court other than to be named on birth certificate. In the end we agreed on Wednesday 4-7pm and alternating Saturdays and Sundays 10am-7pm. She didn't agree with overnight stays as she is too young (14 months) but said this can be sorted in the future She has also been notified of the parenting course i am attending and that she has been told of how well I have been co operating with the course etc!

All in all a very very good hour with the worker and I now can't wait to see the report and be back in court in 3 weeks! Finally a little light given the mother doesn't throw more rubbish my way in her interview which she hasn't had yet!

Hopefully the report will reflect the positive nature of the visit. It might be useful to prepare a schedule of increasing contact over the next few months, to take to court with you. Generally speaking courts will agree overnight contact at about 18 months to 2yrs, which is only 4-10 months away. you can prepare a brief position statement to let he court know that you have been having contact with your child, despite the allegations of DV and include a schedule that is thoughtful to the child's age, culminating in overnight stays. I suggest a schedule that increases over a period of six months.

All the best.

Hi Mojo thanks as ever for your reply.

When you say increased contact over a period of time would you not advise me to initially ask for what the officer agreed was acceptable with every wednesday (4-7) and alternating saturday and sunday (10am-7pm). She was rather abrupt and annoyed when I said i would like to go for more contact than i actually want and told me to go in for exactly what I want.

As much as I would love to have my daughter overnight it just isn't practical as I'm still at home and university but do plan on moving out in the next 12-18 months. I would be very happy with the arrangement that cafcass have initially agreed with me so should i just stick to that in court?

If you're happy with the cafcass proposal go with it! I would discuss your current situations and your hope to be able to extend contact to include overnights within the next 18 months.

The reason I suggested proposing a schedule of increasing contact was to avoid a return to court, which has a monetary and emotional cost.

You could incorporate the cafcass recommendations within it and then extend from that point, so you're not going against what they have suggested, just developed it further it can be a slow progression over a period of 18 months, to reflect your child's age and your change in circumstances.