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My boyfriend had his meeting with the social worker who will write the section 7 report today. My previous posts contain background info. To summarise, his daughter just turned 1, contact has been difficult due to his ex refusing to cooperate. The last time he saw his daughter was in soft play, following mediation, where she attacked him physically.
The information he has taken away from today's meeting is that his ex has no safeguarding concerns against him. Has made no allegations against him. And the social worker has said his ex has given no justifiable reason why she has denied contact or why she is insisting on future contact being in a contact centre.
The other part of the meeting solely focused on why he wanted 50/50. And he was asked questions about the fact his ex didn't work, but he did, so why would 50/50 be in her best interests ect. He answered that he has the option to reduce his hours down to only work the days he doesn't have his daughter (this is the truth). He was clear in telling them his plans and reasons for 50/50, but he felt like he was facing archaic views on how dad's shouldn't have 50/50 because they work. Surely if he didn't work and his ex did, that wouldn't be used as a reason to transfer residency, so why would this be the case the other way around?
He found out at 4.45 today that the court ordered contact which was supposed to start tomorrow looks unlikely to go ahead. Her solicitor emailed his solicitor last minute today to say she is unwilling to travel that far (9.5 miles) and it's too long to travel for their daughter. She drives and has her own car. This is another attempt to obstruct contact.
This now means that his very first cobtact with his daughter will be with a social worker present to do an assessment later this week.
The whole thing just feels crazy. His ex attacked him and denied contact. She has no safeguarding concerns about him. He has safeguarding concerns about her. Why is he being asked to justify 50/50?! And having to fight for it when it's supposed to be the starting point?!
I know it is crazy, but I have heard a lot of people saying that children under two rarely get anywhere close to 50/50.
Reasons that I seem to hear a lot
- government policy to promote breast feeding! Go figure.
-some very dubious research/ article from a dinasour about children under 3 being harmed if they don't live with their mother
- society. if the mother doesn't get residence there must be something wrong with her.why on earth would the father want that much contact! He must have another agenda.
But I would say go for 50/50. Your child will benefit in having a strong bond with both parents. Also it will make both parents effective in gaining the respect and authority in the child's mind. The child will come to learn that she has two homes and two parents who she must listen to.
Oh don't forget to ask them "why not"?
He should contact CAFCASS (or the Social Worker if it is they who are dealing with the report) about cancelling the ordered contact for no good reason, her reason is simply not acceptable and is obstructive.
I would also email/write to her solicitor immediately and inform them that their client is now in breach without good reason, which is unacceptable, he should ask for the missed contact to be replaced before the scheduled observational visit takes place and if he next scheduled contact is also cancelled he will contact the court and ask for an urgent return to court for new directions. Copy in the court as well. I'm surprised his solicitor wasn't all over this to be honest!
She isn't doing herself any favours with her behaviour, she's likely to get the courts back up if she continues and this can only do your partners case a good turn hopefully.
50/50 doesn't have to mean an equal split of time with each parent, I think what's more important is that a final order states that the child lives with both parents, this equalises the parental roles and means that both are equal in the child's eyes...it's not a matter of living with mum and visiting dad, the child has two homes and their parents have equal standing in their life.
Thanks for the advice.
She didn't bring their daughter to contact today. The contact centre rang her and she didn't answer. They left a voicemail to which she didn't respond.
I'm sure she will use the excuse that she notified the solicitor regarding the contact and therefore she isn't to blame for it not going ahead. Her solicitor will make excuses also no doubt.
The fact is, the reason she wants the closer contact centre is because it's every other Saturday where as the one the referral has been done to is every Saturday.
The next court date will be here before the contact will be arrnaged. This current one was referred on 18th remember following court. Court is 19th Feb.
He will be informing the social worker via email tonight. And his solicitor also. What exactly can they do? This situation is completely ridiculous.
He is now going to see his daughter for the first time in 3.5 months in the presence of a social worker. And be assessed?! How can he be assessed on his care of a 12 month old who now won't remember him, and her mother has refused to let him ever feed her, change her, or put her down for a nap.
The contact won't be replaced as the only time the centre is open is Saturday's.
I really hope his solicitor acts on this. Or the social worker. I hope they can see what it is she is doing. The social worker already admitted his ex can't justify her reasons for stopping contact and there are no safeguarding concerns. 2 weeks and he will have their recommendations. But I bet his daughter is still kept from him...
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