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Hi all,
I'm hoping someone reading this who may have been through a similar circumstance can advise the best course of action for me.
Background is we split two years ago, have three sons which i see twice a week on the same scheduled days since we split. Over this period my ex has often decided to change times/dates which suit her when she needs too. If i tend to annoy her or try anything its pretty much a "No" and everything must be on her terms, her idea or not at all!
Some examples of this are when she was aware i had started seeing someone a year ago she decided to reduce my access to once a week and not twice but then decided to make it back to the two days because it suited her with arrangements. I recently mentioned that i would like my current partner (same as just mentioned) to finally meet the children and have a relationship and that we would also be looking to move in together soon as well. She didn't take kindly to this and in retaliation decided to tell my oldest son what i had said and apparently he became very distressed with it all as it was delivered to him appropriately. I turned up the next day to pick the children up and she had gone out stating that my son was too distressed to see me. As you can imagine i was fuming!! I had also recently arranged to have my eldest every other Saturday night, but now she has turned round and said that's not happening any longer! She also is becoming highly unreasonable when it comes to negotiations just turning round to say "NO" to things that most people would deem amicable. Such as she asked to them them Easter Sunday (Usually my day) and i asked to have the boys all Friday instead from 9-8 but she deemed that as too long and wants them back at 4.
I am extremely close to looking at legal proceedings now because i am fed up of her keep changing the plans when she feels like it. I feel she alienates my children against me and my partner and doesn't always put there needs first when it comes to mine and there relationship. My eldest cries out for a relationship with me and we have a close bond but she seems to put blocks in the way.
I know most people reading this will say things like draw up a parental agreement, go to mediation, go to court etc. I am prepared to do all of this but if anyone can advise on the best way to handle and deal with such frustrating issues that would be much appreciated!
from the end of your post, you are going to get exactly the answers you are expecting, in that if you can't come to an agreement, then you need an agreement to be imposed, and the first step (required by the courts) is mediation. It's not uncommon for an ex to start to be difficult when you move on to another partner - much as she doesn't want you herself, she also won't like the idea that she is replaceable. With any luck, starting mediation may be enough to get an agreement, once she realises that you are prepared to go to court (so her behaviour will be looked at by the court, which may be embarrassing to her), but if not then going for a child arrangement order is the next move.
Hi There,
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As actd has said you know the route that you need to take.
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You could try a writing her a letter and lay out what you are looking for, don't use court as a threat so much a explain that if you aren't able to sort things out between the 2 of you then you will need to go through the process to make things official and if that means going to court then that will need to happen.
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We can help and guide you through the process so feel free to ask any questions you have and we will try and help.
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GTTS
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