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Hello all..
Been through the courts for 2 and a half years, to see my 3 yr old..
I'm 41 , my ex is 30 .. she's a pole-dancer, I'm a costumier.
She stole 7.5k in company assets , then walked out and made allegations of assault.
I lent her my savings account and hole in wall card as she'd blown her credit and had debtors pursuing her.
I admitted to a lesser charge thinking it was a gesture as she had been told by the police if she was
found to be wasting thier time, my son could me made a ward of court. I was scared for all of us..
I would have admitted anything if it meant having my child back.
The initial process took 6mths, back in sept 09 , through to march '10 , where I appealed successfully
and had my sentence halved ( it was a 16wk suspended ), straight after the appeal I met with my ex and son
in taunton park and we fed the ducks, I even have photos and video of us all together.. no grief, no issues..
I have never assaulted her, my admission was to a brushing of her arm, to prevent her from ruinng a customers
order, she claims she was black and blue, yet her photos show a bruise on her knee and a bruise on her right arm.
The said photos have since been photocopied and any bruises are complicated by extreme shadowing and bad photostat.
2 weeks after the appeal and our meeting , she met someone else and then all contact stopped..
I went to my solicitors and for the last two years I've fought, had drugs tests, psych tests, cafcass tests. all of which i have passed.
The psych report deemed I was moderately (below average) histrionic (dramatic) , which takes the P slightly to say to a father who simply wants to see his child?? And that I may pose an attitudinal threat to my Son, by maligning my ex in his presence..
I have never stalked, harassed or threatened her.. I live 6hrs away, although she has claimed I have to the court , which went into the court bundle , which went to Cafcass and they based thier report on that, which went to the psych , who based his report on that and the court bundle combined, ... Now i have never done any of what she claims, yet she managed to get a prohibitive steps order to prevent me ever talking about this on Facebook, even though I would appear to star regularly on her page.. Even though I have the Facebook, phone and gps records to prove I haven't, My solicitor says we can't afford to challange her claims and we must stick to the main issue. He seems to ignore that her claims have already tainted the main issue..
My solicitor is doggedly burrowing towards the magistrates , ignoring the flak, whilst my ex is waving silly monkey puppets in a successful effort to distract and mislead them..
She's putting on a better show it would seem, and my solicitor seems ignorant to the fact that she has already scuppered us, unless he sits up and challenges the lies..
He said it's something to do with required levels of proof, and that they aren't as strict in a family court..
Basically she can make anything up and we can't afford to prove my innocence.. Sick..
I've had a court order for contact since April of 2011, which was reissued in Feb 2012.. She circumvented the process by approaching the contact center and alleging I was a threat to her.. even though she knows full well I would never do such a thing.
I am friends with 98% of my ex gf's , and the majority are shocked to hear the claims she has made, knowing that I practice non-violence and always have done.
She's ruined my life , stolen from me, taken my Son.. and then ruined me some more..
I had contact from the bloke she met after my appeal, about 6 mths afterwards.. she'd lifted 3.5k from him and he wanted to know
the truth from me.. he said he'd felt like a third wheel in our relationship for the entire time he was with her.
The next bloke she was with set her up in business , only to be burnt again ..
And now she's P.A. to a poledancing photographer , and My son will get to see the inside of a strip club before I do.
Attitudinal harm??? sorry? from me??
And she moved on 5th july, 3 days ago, to god knows where..
He has my surname.. I have PR
I don;t know where my son lives, What food he likes or even what toys he plays with..
She said I can't see him because he doesn't know me anymore.. even though I've fought to see him since he was 6mths old..
Contact order --- Useless
Cafcass --- Biased in favour of the mother
Solicitor --- Way too slow and emotionally unattached ( "what are you worried about? its not your money" [censored]??? )
Legal System --- a Joke
It's split my family .. my mum stays in contact with her to get information, but my ex uses it as an example to prove that I'm in the wrong and shes friends with my mum, so she must be in the right. My Mum refuses to see this and as a result I can't trust her.
I've only touched on the [censored] involved in this situation.
Help? My rights seem to bear no weight at all.. My last Contact was March 210 and I carry this with me every minute of every day..
Hi and welcome
That's quite something you've been through. As you have a solicitor we can't ask the CCLC to comment. However, I would speak to your solicitor as I would say that you should be looking at a contact order well before now, even if supervised. If you aren't happy with your solicitor, then you are able to change your legal aid to another solicitor.
Fortunately my Solicitor does take a lot of time out for me, and makes himself available at weekends and holidays,
He is also a father and he's expressed a deep sense of identity with the pain I feel.
I wouldn't change my spearthrower, but I do need to be a better coach sometimes.
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