[Solved] Issues with x an her contact order

As long as the order is specific about her partner, I don't believe you have anything to worry about. You are not refusing contact, you have said that you will make the children available to her as per the order, but not to her partner as referenced in the order.

I see this as bully tactics by her solicitor to get you to give in to her demands! Let them apply for enforcement, you are only protecting your children from harm, which had been acknowledged in court.

I would write a brief letter to her solicitor stating that you are not refusing her contact, that you have stated in writing that you will make the children available to her as per the order, but you will not release the children into the care of her partner. Explain that the court considered that there were safeguarding issues with her partner and specified this in the order and that you are therefore not in breach of the order by refusing to allow him to collect them.

Suggest that if she is unhappy with the current order she is within her rights to apply to court for a variation, where her suggested changes would be properly tested by the court, in the proper manner, and should the court agree you would of course abide by any changes that were made.

Thank you for your reply i am due to see a solicitor about all these issue on the 2nd of may where i hope to get legal aid on behalf of my children that where removed from there mothers care due to neglect. I will get some legal help on this also it does appear to me that her solicitor is trying to use bully tactics. But on reading up on enforcing an order surely she would have to have proof that i have breached the order? As i have messages to her statin that the children are available for her to collect at 330pm
regarding her solicitors. Last time i wrote a email back to him he did not reply. But at the end of his letters or email he simply states to seek legal help. So is there any point replying to his email? I will just let her take me down the enforcement route see how it pans out i do not see any breaches myself as like i say i have stated many times that the children are ready for her to collect at 330pm, As stated on the order. But she is very persistent on the matter that her partner is to collect the children also she is using she has personal issues why she cannot come.

Also i would like to add what are the chances of her getting her partner added on to the order as someone that would collect the children in your opinion. As i have never heard such a thing being added to a order as he may not be around in 6 months ect.

Thanks for taking your time to read my reply

I'm not sure if your children would be eligible for legal aid in this instance...I'd be very interested to see how that pans out.

However if there has been any documented domestic violence from your ex towards you, that happened in the last five years, you may be entitled to legal aid in your own right. Otherwise, I doubt that you would be entitled to any help, as legal aid was stopped completely for private law cases back in 2014.

The excercise of responding in writing to her solicitor is as much about having a provable paper trail that shows you have been reasonable and are not denying contact.

Solicitors would generally advise seeking legal help, it's a formality when dealing with unrepresented litigants. You could state in your email that you are a litigant in person and all correspondence is to go directly to you at all times.

However if you don't want to reply that is your prerogative... if you are entitled to a some form of legal aid, the solicitor representing you would take care of it.

It's impossible to predict what the outcome of a variation application would be, if she has had multiple partners that don't last, you could argue that point. Due to the concerns about her partner in the previous case, the court would want to investigate further, but if he isn't a named party to the proceedings, I think he would have to give his permission for them to look into his background. You can ask the solicitor to clarify this during your appointment.

All the best

Thank you for your reply i am hoping to get legal aid i was not able to before which cost me just over 8000 pounds legal costs. Until the judge instructed social services to under take a section 7 but on this being arranged with social services they had to remove the children then an there an also called the police to assist. There findings where due to neglect. Which comes under the most common form of child abuse. An because this is included in the section 7 report i am hoping this will carry some weight in getting legal aid. I understand some is not most have been removed for private cases. Like i found out after paying over 8000 grand!!

I have emailed the solicitor back with what you have said previous i have edited it an just might get a reply hopefully i get a solicitor on board i will wait to see if she does take me down the enforcement route but my understanding on this is you have to prove to the courts a breach has been committed which i am very sure i have not as i have told her in many messages the children are available for her to collect. An that is the instruction in the court order.

I should add that during the last hearing the section 7 included her current partner an issues with his past an this included smacking a child i should add an also abuse against is x partner. An many other issues this is why he was added in the court order for my x to take note of the issues raised by social services. So i am hopeing as they have already carried out some safe guarding i should hope the judge will take that into account. As he is known to social services. My barrister at the time told me i would not be able to get a prohibited steps order on him as we do not know how long he will be on the seen.

Thanks for your time.

That was strange advice from the barrister... I would've disagreed with him to be honest.

i would suggest that if it goes back to court and they agree with your stance, you should ask for a PSO to prevent him from any direct contact in the future. If he lives with your ex that could prove difficult for her , but it doesn't appear that she has taken any of the issues that surfaced about him on board anyway.

Please do keep us updated about how you get on with legal aid... all the best

Thank you for taking your time to reply to me yes i did indeed think it was very strange i could not get a pso on him. With all the concerns raised about my x is partner what with my little girl currently coming out with he has smacked her an what she is seeing at her mums is very worrying indeed so i feel this has got to go back to court. An social have told me i should stop all contact but to seek legal advice as well. Because they cant really tell you to brake a court order them selves. I will keep you updated regarding legal aid

Happy Easter
Regards
Alex 🙂

I think, had you applied for a PSO at the time it would have been granted due to the risks he posed! Such a shame the barrister wasn't as pro active as he might have been!

Have you stopped contact now? SS will always advise to seek legal advice when there's a court order in place...its more a formality really.

May I ask how long the court order has been in place?

The barrister i had was a very young! i think this showed an i feel she lacked experience at the moment i am not allowing contact anyway due to my x stipulating constantly that she wants her partner to collect the children which i will not allow. The court order was issued in July 2016 but my x has breached on many occasions an now because she cant have her own way i.e her partner to collect the children she wants to enforce the order but i have all her breaches listed 2 an half pages long!

Thanks for your reply

You sound like you have a good grasp of the situation...it might be worth considering an urgent application for a Prohibited Steps Order...sometimes a preemptive strike is the better position to take. You could talk to the solicitor about it, it's always a good idea to go armed with a list of questions, so that you don't forget to cover all bases.

You can't force your ex to take contact, so in reality she isn't in breach of the order by not spending time with the children.

I agree with Mojo, an urgent PSO application might be the way to go. I too, am surprised the barrister, didn't try to apply for that.

I would be surprised if Legal Aid is granted but am hopeful for you. Do let us know how you get on.

If you can't get Legal Aid - you could consider looking into finding a good McKenzie Friend who can assist you before, during or after the court process.

It might also be worth attending a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area - you can also get help and support there.

Best of luck.

Hi Yoda thanks for taking your time to read the conversation regarding my x not having contact i understand you cant force someone to take the contact. But as she is always late ect would that not come under a breach? As the contact order is for 330pm so turning up hours late ect is still not complying with the contact order? When i see a solicitor in may i will ask about this as this may be a option i go down. Would you agree i am in the right by not allowing the children to not go with her partner as this issues raised in the section 7 an on the court order? I have always stated to my x that the children are available for her to collect but only her.

Thank you for your suggestion on a McKenzie Friend i will look into this if i fail to get legal aid. But i am staying hopefull i can secure legal aid. R.E legal aid my x got legal aid last time during the court hearing due to using domestic Violence from me but there is non an that was proven in the court case last time she basically went to the doctors an played on the emotional side of DV which is hard to prove i suppose. But could she get legal aid again i mean she works full time and so does her partner... I would like to know what you would think? As basically i would think it would be wrong that she can get legal aid again for the some thing

Thanks for your time

To be honest, I think it's unlikely either of you would get Legal Aid.

Again - I doubt poor timing could be considered a breach of the order but isn't in the childrens best interests.

I do think you are right to insist that she conducts the handovers and that you exclude her partner from the situation, given the issues there.

It will look better if you take this to court asap to be fair.