[Solved] Issues with x an her contact order

Hi there

How long ago was the order made? If there were issues raised by Social Services about her partner during the court case, then you are within your rights to say that you will only make the children available for her to pick up, as stated in the order.

You could point out that you are not breaching the order by standing firm on this matter, but if she wishes to change the order it would be up to her to apply to the court for a variation of the original order and, after the court have done their safeguarding checks, if they agree to allow the change, you would abide by that.

You could also contact Social Services and discuss your concerns and the position you need to take and ask them to log your concerns and to give you advice on their position concerning the partners suitability.

As long as you make it clear that you are not preventing contact and the children will be made available as long as she is picking them up. I would put that in writing, so that you have a record of it...letter, email or text.

All the best

Hi thank you for your reply to my message i have stated to my x that i am not stopping contact for her i am just not allowing her partner to pick the children up as issues where raised by social services. I have turned to this forum to get some advice as she is stipulating i have to let the kids go with him when the contact order is for her. I have stated to her i would not stop her seeing them as long as she collects them. I will speak to social as well on this matter. Also the court order is dated the 4th july 2016

Thank you for your help

As it's been longer than 4 months, before she can apply to vary the order, you would both need to attempt to resolve this with mediation. It would be up to her, as the potential applicant, to initiate this, but she would have to use a mediator based in your location rather than hers, and the same goes for the location of the court used, should it get that far.

All th best

Thank you for your help but i highly doubt my x would be willing to do mediation.

She would have to, it's now a requirement before an application can be made.

Thank you for your help i had a solicitors letter from her solicitors instructing me i had to let my x delegate the collection or rather its up to her to decide who collects. I looked at the letter an went what ever as clearly the solicitors have not read the court order which includes my x is partners and social services concerns.

Hmmm what is your thoughts about this i have clearly stated to my x the children are available for you to collect. But only for her to collect.

Many Thanks

If there were concerns raised about her partner, then you have every right to refuse to allow him to collect your children. My personal view is that you should respond to the solicitor that you will comply with the court order exactly as it is written and allow you ex to collect the children, but due to concerns for their welfare, as expressed by the court, that you will not allow her to delegate this to anyone else, and that you will not allow him to take your children if she is not present.

In reality, I cannot see why she would even want to push this point - surely she would want to be there at the pickup so she gets as much time with the children as possible.

If you don't have a solicitor, it might be worth getting advice from Corams Childrens legal centre, the advice is free but you will have to be patient getting through to them - http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com

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She would have to, it's now a requirement before an application can be made.

But all women have the "hes an abusive controlling man".

My ex managed to refuse mediation again.

Despite the fact ive evidence i used to drive her around and she came to me to look after her prior to her walking away from our kid.

If she refuses mediation, then the mediator can sign off and you can then move on to court proceedings.

Hi guys since speaking to you last my x has continued to state she wants her partner to pick the children up. I however have stayed firm on this matter an have said i will make the children available for her to collect. I have told my x about the court order regarding her partner an the concerns raised. Since then she has gone back to her solicitor who has sent me a letter stating his client has sai i have refused contact . Which i have not as i have messages to my x partner saying she can pick the kids up at 330 all i have said is i wont release the kids to her partner. Anyway her solicitor has threatened to get the order enforced. So i am confused they will be taking me to court because i have not let the children be picked up by her partner. This is just wrong how am i in breach of the court order :S As stated i have said in many messages to her i will make them available for her to collect.

Thanks for your help guys!