[Solved] Increased contact

Thanks both for your replies.

I contacted my ex suggesting mediation if she wasn’t happy to meet and discuss in person. I am yet to get a response.

We did attend mediation when this all began and she refused to budge, it was the weirdest situation I can remember being involved in with us sat in different rooms and a mediator running between us. I would hope if we did mediation now we would at least be sat in the same room.

At our last handover I mentioned I had sent a message and told her I would really like to be able to sort something between us and she said she had some ideas about me have an overnight during the week in place of my current afternoon. As I said I have not had anything else from her and if it is just an overnight midweek this is not enough.

I also bought up an issue which has repeated itself a few times now and that is her family members being negative about me to my daughter. She refuses to accept this despite the details I have given her. Although she is usually a reasonable woman when it comes to me she is just so stubborn and won’t be reasonable at all.

She has since changed some plans for me to have my daughter for a midweek over night as we did a swap of weekends so I could have my daughter in Father’s Day. It seems because I have asked for increased contact and mentioned the issue with negative comments I am now being punished. It’s so frustrating!!!

I feel resigned to having to go to court but will try again maybe suggesting a parenting plan and offering her some options that will suit. If this fails it will have to be court. I own my own business and can be flexible during the week with no real restrictions, would someone be happy to give me some suggested plans that a court would likely look favourably on please?

Thanks again, I really appreciate your responses.

If you can come to an agreement without going to court, that is always the best option, but sometimes you just have to accept that this isn't feasible and court is the only option, depends on where you get to with mediation.

I have suggested we do a parenting plan, again I am waiting a response.

It would be helpful to know what kind of contact I could reasonably expect. I don’t want to be pushing for something that is unreasonable and would like to pitch my first suggestion in a sensible place.

I realise it’s difficult to say as everyone’s case is different but any ideas would be appreciated.

Cheers

If you need help creating a parenting plan use the DAD.Info site here

http://dadinfo.splittingup-putkidsfirst.org.uk/home

The focus is on reaching agreements outside of the courtroom, using tools such as mediation and parenting plans... and it's a great way to show that you are fully engaged with the process.

Here are some links to the parenting plan put together by CAFCASS, even if you are unable to agree the plan together, at least it will give you a better idea of what to negotiate when using mediation.

www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parenting-plan.aspx

The following link isn't by CAFCASS but I think it's a particularly good guide with lots of tips!

www.robertscentre.org.uk/wp-content/uplo...arentsguide-2009.pdf

As far as amount of contact, itsoften a good idea to ask for slightly more thanyouwould be ok with as it gives you room to compromise without giving too much up.

Perhaps ask for staying weekends to be extended from Friday pick up from school to Monday morning dropping back at school. This allows you to develop a relationship with teachers and be more involved with her school week.

As the staying weekends are alternated, you could ask for weekly mid week contact which could be Wednesday/Thursday, or perhaps the week that you don't have weekend contact , Tuesday from school, overnight Tuesday and Wednesday night dropping back at school on Thursday morning. The week that you have the weekend staying contact the mid week contact could be dropped to 1 night picking up on Wednesday after school and dropping back to school on Thursday morning.

As you have working flexibility you should let the court know that you are able t be flexible.

Try and get as much definition into the order as possible, such as extra time during school holidays, perhaps suggesting a 50/50 split. Shared Christmas and birthdays, that kind of thing.

All the best

Thank you so much. That will all be an amazing help.