[Solved] I need your advice, please

Hello.

In 2012 I met a Filipino woman who, after 3 weeks of relationship she got pregnant with our Son. Since then we’ve had ups and downs until this year, when I decided to leave her due to her unacceptable behaviour towards me. At that time (in June this year) we verbally agreed (in an witnessed conversation, not through a Mediator) to have our Son 3 and 4 days respectively.

Everything was fine until two months ago when suddenly, without ANY warning, she blocked my number, hired a solicitor and decided to exclude me from my Son’s life.

This is the long story short.
The reason for this behaviour is that, after my Son pronounced her husband’s name, I told her in a ferm way to keep my Son away from that person.

Some background informations: My Ex is still married with her husband who is from Afganistan. They’ve been together for almost 10 years and their relationship ended in the worst possible way at the end of 2011, my Ex being forced to apply for an Injunction Order against him since he was extremely violent (she was admitted in the hospital several times with bruises, injuries, etc.), sending her extremely disturbing messages with what he will do if he will find her, messages which I read at that time and they scared me really badly, although I can’t say about myself that I’m easily scared by those kind of things. The Police was aware at that time about those things, the case was taken very seriously due to the violent nature of those messages. Previously to this matter, he was imprisoned for about three years for something related to drugs, alcohol or both, and also for DUY, I’m not pretty sure. My Ex was cheating on him while he was in prison, when he came out he found out and that’s how her nightmare started.

Coming back to present, as I said, I told her quite nicely to keep my Son away from that individual and I think I was justified having this request considering the past. This was on a Sunday evening, approximately two months ago, when I was returning my Son back to her and he mentioned his name. Later on, when I was on my own and I was thinking on the situation and I realised that actually my Son could be in danger considering the past, I wrote an email to NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) describing in few words what I just wrote in this post. Previously, we agreed that I can come to see our Son anytime I want and to help her with stuff (like fixing her computer and/or other household issues), so on Tuesday, two days after the email to NSPCC, I messaged her I will come to see our Son around 19:40, after I finish my work, but I had no answer. When I went there, the lights were off everywhere, I knocked to the door, I rung her (and realised she blocked my number) and obviously I had no answer, so Ieft. During the night I couldn’t sleep thinking that my Son could be in great danger. Next day, early in the morning, before I went to work, around 06:45 I went there, knocked the door - no answer - and then I rung her with private number, someone answered, but I could only hear my Son’s voice who, when he heard my voice he started to be very excited knowing that he will see me, but she did not allow him to exit the bedroom to go downstairs to open the door since her husband, no doubts, was there, so I could only hear my Son screaming and crying then she hung up. Later that day, around 12:30, while I was at work, I received a letter from her solicitor, saying that I have to stop the “harassment and pestering” my Ex otherwise she will apply for Non-Molestation Order against me and I can only see my Son if I will be invited to do so, which obviously did not happened since. Later that day (or next day, Thursday, I’m not very sure), the Police visited the home (due to the allegations I made on Sunday to NSPCC) but I don’t know the outcome of that visit. On Friday I contacted the Child Protection Services and Social Services where I explained the situation, with whom I had a conversation over the phone on Tuesday next week, but I don’t know what happened either.
Later that week I hired a Solicitor who, since then, did not do anything to re-connect me with my Son, just few emails sent back and forth, so I ended the contract with them since I did not feel any support towards my case whatsoever.
In the meantime I had a meeting with a Mediator to whom I explained the situation and she told me she will send the part of C100 regarding the mediation, since my Ex declined to attend to the meeting (it seems obvious that her solicitor did advice her not to attend, knowing I will go to Court, so she can make some more money from this).
I already filled the C100 form (with a bit of support from internet and friends), I received the letter from the Mediator an took it to Court. A Restriction Order was issued the same day and next week I have a Court hearing for interim contact.

Now, some more background:

The relationship between me and my Son is a very special one since I looked (together with my Mother who came in UK regularly to help us) after him basically since the day he came in this world. I quit my employment in April 2013, few months after he was born, and since my Ex started studying Nursing degree (which lasted four years, until December 2016) I was the one who took responsibility for my Son’s care, doing every other household jobs (cleaning, cooking, washing, driving, groceries, etc.). During those four years she had very few responsibilities towards our Son, actually she even refused to breastfeed him since it was “painful” and she doesn’t “want to destroy her breasts”. Also, I was trying to tell her on a regular basis she should spend some time with him, he is growing quick and it is like he doesn’t have a mother, but she was too busy sleeping and going to school or in placement, so nearly three years had passed without her being concerned about her own Son. Also, soon after she got pregnant, we stopped any sexual activity for those three years, reason for which I wanted to break up with her, I met someone else and I got married in 2015, but I divorced last year since the woman did not accept my Son (telling me to abandon him and other stupid ideas) and also because me Ex contacted her and threatened her with different things. We got back together for a while, but her behaviour towards me got worst and worst, we split up again after she threw away my stuff in the street (the Police was informed) then I met someone else, she threatened and bullied that person as well, we got back together, then the same thing happened at the end of last year with another woman, though the same scenario.

In May this year, while we were on Holiday in Central Forrest, she started again with her controlling and aggressive behaviour, so I informed her in the nicest way possible that I intend to leave her, for good this time. I repeated this information several times after this, hoping she will understand. At the end of June this year, I met someone else, so I moved out from the house (where she lives now, most likely with the abusive husband), in what I thought is a “good parenting relationship” since we both agreed that our Son needs a Mother and a Father and is in its best interest to see us both, while explaining to her that we should be best of friends. Before I left she told me that she “will wait for me” meaning she will wait until I will finish this relationship so I explained to her that I’d rather die than to be with her again. Soon, when she actually realised this is very serious and I will never go back again, she started to be more and more verbally aggressive until last month, as I explained, when she declined me seeing my Son.

Now, her Solicitor is asking to provide my home address if I want to see my Son again, which I can’t do due to her behaviour from the past and also because I know how dangerous the husband is since he will do everything she will ask him to do to make her happy and to “fix the past” this way. My Ex, although she looks kinda sweet and innocent, she is extremely manipulative and an excellent liar, she lied to me all this time with basically everything.

So, because I declined to share my address, I am not allowed contact with my Son anymore, although my Solicitor explained to her solicitor why, but obviously nobody care about my Son’s pain caused by this whole situation.
Not long before I left my Ex told me she will “find out where my partner is working” and she will “ring and make a fool of her” and many other threats. During this relationship, she threatened me on numerous times that, if I will leave her, I will never see my Son again, she will send him in Philippines (where some of her relatives are lawyers and solicitors, so no matter what, I won’t be able to reach to their legal system) and many other similar things related to my Son. I can say that she used my Son as a tool to keep me around her and to be at her disposal at all times.

Due to her manipulative and controlling behaviour, I ended up having over £22,000 in debts, since she “promised” me she will help me repay those debts (two loans, few credit cards and a car), but because this did not happened, I had no choice but to apply for an IVA in February this year. When I met her, she had over £15,000 in debts, for which she applied for a Bankruptcy Order, which should be finished next year or so.

I asked the Court for Prohibitive Order and also for Child Arrangement Order, where I will have our Son 4 days a week and she will have him 3 days. I live now around 20 minutes by car from his school, while she lives two minutes away by foot, which I guess it will be taken in her favour. But if I will be able to spend time with him from Friday after school until Monday morning before school, I will be more than happy and I’m sure my Son will be happy as well.

I have a hearing in Court on Wednesday next week, I don’t really know what to do since I don’t have a solicitor. What should I ask from the Court? I’m sure my Ex will tell all kind of lies and she can convince everyone how bad person I am.

Regards