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I split from the mother of my 4 boys in december last year after 12 years together, we have 4 boys together. In february I began dating somebody who had been a friend of the family for years and we fell in Love. We have recently got engaged and plan to marry next year, My fiance knows my children well having known them most of their lives and adores them. Sadly the boys mum and her family continue to enforce their opinions onto the boys and talk really inappropriately about me and my partner, whilst telling them theyre still allowed to make their own choices. My boys have now told me they dont want to be near my fiance and will not be coming to the wedding. Their mother continues to make me jump through hoops as to when and where I can see them. This situation has visibly changed the older ones emotionally and it such a mess. Any advise from anybody who has suffered similar would be greatly appreciated
Hi there and welcome
Wow that was rather quick...just two months after splitting and you're dating a close family friend and within 6 months you are engaged!
Without being judgemental, I've got to be honest here, I can understand why this will have caused such a lot of upset and ill feeling. It would have been much easier for your ex and her family to bear if they hadn't known the person you are now with, and the speed with which you have moved on will have hurt a lot.... in the circumstances there's an issue of feeling betrayed.
It's wrong that they should talk inappropriately to the children about what has happened but its not something that can be kept from them is it. I don't know how old the children are but when they see their family broken up and their mum hurting they are going to react. Children are often far more astute than we give them credit for!
I think you need to give the children time, be patient and tolerant and allow them to be hurt . Hopefully they will come round.
I was sure that this topic is about diet or something. It's horrible to hear that some people who are already parents just can't be adult by themselfs.
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