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Mother is a narcissist and makes totally untrue, critical statements to the eldest child who is only 3 years old about the father The child, in turn (in all innocence) vehemently states these untruths to her father which she has been told by her mother.
The father and his family are appalled at the mother's behaviour and make no comment on hearing these things. However, the latest comment (regarding finances) from the child was told to the father in a very reproaching, aggresive manner, it was a complete untruth the child spoke.
I'm sure many on here have come across the same. I am interested in how you handled this type of situation. The father and paternal family normally just let it go and never make comment about the mother but surely in doing this when the child is vehement in their untrue statement to the father this is encouraging a wrong to be believed by the child which must be damaging to the child in itself? In such circumstances would you say to the child, "that is not true what mummy has told you."
Background:- both parents in their forties, father has parental responsibility and court order for access.
Personally, and speaking from personal experience, at the age of 3 I would rise above it and try to speak with the mother. It's a very difficult situation because as the child gets older, there's a danger they will become brainwashed but at age 3, it's very young to be feeling conflicted. I know the mother has been very difficult throughout all of this but children do get older and to an age where you can talk to them but also they can begin to see for themselves. Others may have a different take on this.....Sorry not to be of much help here.
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