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My youngest child is just leaving sixth form and i messaged my ex to ask what he has chosen to do go college or vet an apprenticeship or job she tells me he has chosen to go college which im happy with but as she as denied me access for 10 years how do i know shes telling the truth i have always paid for all 3 of my children and i would of loved to have had access but she kept denying me it when i started legal proceedings she would sah yes of course come up and see them i stop the proceedings then she would say the kids have said they dont want to see you but she got remarried had 2 more children so i didnt fit into her perfect family she even change my kids surnames to her maiden name i want a way of finding out if he does go college without asking her as i dont trust her also as hes 18 in september should i make payments to him or her
Hi there
Unfortunately, its difficult to find out about this, you could contact the colleges and try and find out that way.
With the payments, unless you have an informal arrangement with the mother and can discuss the money going straight to your child, it still has to be paid to her.
Sorry to hear you dont have contact with your kids, that must be tough. I hope that one day they come looking for you.
All the best
Probably a bit late now, but if you have PR, then she isn't legally allowed to change their surnames unless you have given consent, or a court has ordered it to be permissable.
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