[Solved] How do I get past cafcass, indirect contact?

Something I probably should add while they suggested a further 6 months they then said longer because my daughters mum is pregnant with her 3rd child from her 3rd baby father she doesn't see any of her kids just turns up to court to let her spite reign on me.

Court unfairly gave SGO to daughters grandma who is the main puppeteer and they gave this SGO out without drugs testing me, without listening to me and again it was based off of the untrue accusations which were just parroted by cafcass.

What is happening to us young dads is criminal surely? Am I able to take my family court judge or cafcass worker to a higher court?? Please tell me whatever you may know because I'm willing to bend over backwards

Hello

First of all I have to sympathise with your situation and also commend your drive.

I have been in your situation and hate to give you bad news as I am a very positive, upbeat person.

I have always been a law abiding citizen. I worked in the armed forces, for government intelligence agencies, was in the police and never got into any trouble at all (infact I am security cleared to the highest level in England).

I was an old father in his 40's, but like many, was the happiest man in the world to receive the news that I was going to be a father.

The result - me and my daughter's mother split and she was just interested in one thing ($$).
After she had made several false accusations to the police about threatening her (so she could get legal aid) and denied me contact to our daughter I decided to take her to court.

I paid out thousands in solicitors fees and it got to the point where I could no longer afford this.
I had to study and represent myself in court. She got legal aid as concocted some story about how her ex tried to kill her (for which she had him put in prison) and I had apparently threatened to give her new identity and whereabouts to him (even though I didn't have a clue who he was (and would never do such a thing!)).

I was both astonished and broken to be told by the judge that I was only allowed "indirect contact", after I had spent month bonding with my newborn daughter (the most precious person in my life).

At the time I was paying £250 a month to my ex. I stopped my payments as was upset. She waited 2 days to report me to CMS. I subsequently received a letter advising my payments would now be £400 a month for ZERO contact!

I followed the rules and wrote a letter each month and drove 100 miles to deliver a gift to her solicitor.

Then her solicitor advised they would no longer facilitate the exchange of such things as her legal aid would not pay for this.

I somehow managed to get my ex to setup an email address and this is the only contact I have had since (3 years ago). I am lucky to get 1 email every 3 months gloating about how well she is with all her children. She is "apparantly" still waiting for counsilling for PTSD and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy caused by her ex partner (which she has children to).

Her accusations of me threatening her on FB/text were false and I gave up all my electronic devices to the police to investigate (including access to internet providers and mobile phone companies) as I had nothing to hide at all as these were all false accusations. I thought that this would be fine but unfortunately, even though there was zero evidence, it was deemed that she was so scared I would "kidnap" our daughter, the judge advised that it was not in her mothers best interests to allow me contact.

My poor daughter has not seen me since. Her mother has since had other children to other men and is now single.

Unfortunately I eventually decided to leave England, my loving family, job, home and sold everything I had worked all my life for as I could not afford to live due to the payments plus the stress of it all affected my health enormously.

I am now living a solitary life in a foreign country many miles away.

The CMS advised that the case would be closed as it was a permanent move abroad but I now found out that they are accruing my debt so I can never return to England. I have not only had my daughter kidnapped from me but also my parents, siblings, their children etc.

These stories never make headlines and we are left to suffer.

Fortunately I am of very strong character and intelligence,

The best thing I ever did was escape the stranglehold of the British justice system and I am so very grateful for that, however there is not a day or night that goes by that I do not miss my beautiful princess and speak to the photos I have of her with me 🙁

I am a realist and not a pessimist but don't hold out your hopes - I did this and was brought down to earth with a bang.

It's ironic that I used to work on the domestic violence team as a Police Officer and saw countless men beat their partner within an inch of their lives - yet they never got the same punishment as myself!

Good riddance to England and the twisted family court legal system!!

It sounds like a story made up when I read it but I can assure you all that this is a 1st hand, honest story from a completely innocent decent, educated person!

Things need to but will never change in England as the system is setup for financial gain!

God bless you all 🙂

Thank you for sharing your story mavrick, how old is your child? I heard that children are force into meeting their parents at the age of 10 so it gets a lot easier although as great as that sounds I hate how much I have already missed it couldn't be more unfair and painful to see her in my dreams, every time I walk past someone with their kid its heartbreaking surely there must be some point of which this becomes criminal.

A judges judge/ court of appeal? Why do some dads walk out with access like its no problem but others of us are made subject to a life sentence away from our children am I just unlucky with jurisdiction? I don't think its fair every time I'm stuck with the same man hating woman..

Will they rott in [censored]? The crack dealers in my area have more morale than these people, I really need some kind of boost or kind words of advice to keep me going its disgusting and I won't ever feel I have been tried fairly until I have a male judge and cafcass officer. The previous was on the way towards having me meet my girl then bam he was ill one day and this horrible woman took over

Hi Jack

Thanks for your response and I truly feel for you.

As hard as it is, stay strong and keep your faith - believe me that this is the only way to deal with it. Acceptance is very important as you cannot fight the system.

My daughter was just 4 months old when her mother decided to kidnap her. She is now 3.5 years old. I was so very angry for a very long time and wanted to take out all my vented up frustration on anyone so I really do understand.

I completely mirror your view with regards to CAFCASS/judges as they were all females except one. On that one rare occasion that I had a male judge, much positive ground was made and I felt lifted for once in a very long time.
Unfortunately all this was negated when a female judge attended the next hearing. I felt helpless everytime my ex cried in court saying she was scared of me (then smirked at me a short while later!). I never took the bait and bit as they want this.

Time does heal, as much as this is not an answer but once you accept it then it allows you to be strong and formulate a plan of action for the future. Your child/children would want their father to be strong so take faith in that you are not alone at all. I had no-one to talk with that had been through these dreadful situations as all my family and friends were in a "perfect family" situation (which really didn't help).

Remember that life is long and no-one can ever predict the future.

I do not have any answers but I know a couple of fathers that have been through similar in the country where I am now living and they got justice. They cannot believe the English system as here it's 50/50 and very fair.

England is fast becoming a single mother country where the fathers work their arses off and struggle to survive but the mothers dont work and have holidays, nice cars, clothes, nights out etc etc and just love the one night stand dating sites in the hope they can make some $$ by getting pregnant. You only have to go on the "netmums" website to see what we are up against - so many haters its unbelievable.

I am so very happy that I am not controlled by the dictatorship of England anymore.

Best wishes to you and stay strong 🙂