[Solved] Hi new and glad I found this forum.

Thanks for the advice guys....this is a worry for me this joint bank account that we have. We pay all the bills from this. A few weeks ago I seem that she has paid a 700 quid into her bank a cheque then took it out and put it into a different account...one that I didn't know she had....not sure where the money came from...mybe she is getting universal credits already is what I'm thinking as I seen paper work she had that must be near that amount...but not sure. So she defo has a plan and being very sneaky about it. I was going to suggest that we close the joint account and pay the bills another way 50/50 so she can apply for her universal credits and I can start to sort out a mortgage....just so she dosent spit the dummy out. ( she is a hot head so I need to tread carefully ). Not sure how she can be getting her credit's unless she is saying I'm not there anymore or I'm not paying my way. I seen all this on the fly so if I comfont her about it it won't go down to we'll. This is why I need to push for the sale of the house. She is a sneaky and with all her friends advising her I do feel like I'm going to get shafted.

Hi Jack nic

I see that the dad's have be giving you really good advice which is good. I'm a mum I want to make a few points about the emotional side of things.

You definitely need to talk to her find out her thoughts and feelings. I think it will be tough seems you are looking to end things and she isn't, she is going to be upset.

Some people can get through being cheated on through help like couple counseling others can't I feel that you are ready to end things with her and move on your just worried for you children which is very understandable it is going to be tough for them.

But if you can't give them the loving home they deserve with your wife (which isn't your fault she has betrayed you and the children, I think she should be the one feeling guilty not you!) my opinion is it's better to break up because I think you will cause them more damage in the long run is you stay together because you can still be a good father.

I hope your wife is reasonable about things please don't listen to things like she won't be that's not going to help you, you need to keep positive for you children because at the end of the day your love for you children will stay the same whether you are together with her or not.

All the best

Nothing is forumualic apart from cms . Court go on needs and above that they apply the “sharing pricinple “ ie what the owner of the lions share has left after needs of all taken into account they take more of what’s left lol
Needs are what they deem to be “generously interpreted “
If you went to court for distribution of assets all depend on the judge on the day .

At the very least, protect the joint account as others have said.

It's worth speaking to a lawyer - many offer free consultations to get you started, even if you don't intend to continue with a lawyer.

Best of luck

Thanks again guys for the replys....needhelp83 good to hear from a mum's point of view. We both want this and her guilt passed a while ago. But you are right we need to talk...this not talking about feeling is what got us in this mess in the first place and I am trying to keep up the act of a loving home for the kids but it is just an act...love them to bits it's just there mum I don't love anymore..I like the way you finish that....your love for the children wont change if your together or not.

And citydad...I wouldn't be able to afford taking her to court.

And yoda my wise friend lol I will try to suggest this to her in a way she won't hit the roof. Or can I contact the bank on this matter without her knowing?? I spoke to a solicitor about the family home when she told me she would leave and I could stay in the house but she wanted to remain on the deeds. I see a few have a free 30min service so I'll keep that for if I need that. Thanks again guys