Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I suppose i never thought about a forum!
I'm John i have 3 children and i have been separated 2 and a half years.
My problem is simple, we split amicably, i paid an agreed maintenance figure for 2 years, i met someone new and now she has decided to go to CMS and stopped me seeing my kids.
I didn't see them over Christmas and she has fully turned them against me.
Im not in a position to afford court and the maintenance i have been told to pay is well beyond my means.
My ex constantly messaged me being derogatory and nasty.
I went to mediation but she didn't.
and my youngest turns 10 on Monday, she had the cheek to drive to my parents and drop the birthday card off my mum sent in the post unopened.
I'm scared of losing my children and i really have nobody to talk to.
Thanks for letting me sound off.
Hello John
I’m sorry to hear your going through a tough time, and it seems so unfair and it’s particularly unfair to your children.
I would say by what you’ve said that your ex must be slightly bitter about you being with someone else, despite being apart for a considerable amount of time.
My ex would mess about with CMS, like when I met someone else - it’s a spiteful way to get at someone
Like yourself I pay my maintenance through CMS, and I do think it is a lot, although I don’t know what you can do about it as they take a percentage based on what you earn, how many nights you have your children, how many children you have, and if you live with someone who has children etc.
As you’ve been to mediation and your ex didn’t turn up, I would say the next step is to apply to the court for a child arrangements order via a C100 form. This would then start the process of going through the process - I guess it’s your only hope as your ex is being so difficult.
As for the texts - save anything you can as you may well need them to use as evidence.
I think it’s terrible that she returned your mothers cards like that, unbelievable although believable, in an attempt to alienate not only you but other loving relatives from them.
This site is great, there are many good people on here with a wealth of knowledge and experience in how the system works.
Jonathan
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.