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[Solved] Hi

 
(@markp4338)
Active Member Registered

Hi everyone, first post so go easy.

It is so refreshing stumbling on this site after being driven to despair by my ex. It sometimes feel I am in a unique situation and all alone but reading this site has lifted my spirits. We have a daughter 20 months old and split in January and its been [censored] since. She left me in debt and moved back to her house she rented out. Initially she was happy to let have the baby 2-3 nights per week and i was paying her what the child maintenance calculator suggests but now she has bought a brand new car and booked a expensive holiday. To fund this she is going through child maintenance and says I no longer can have the baby overnight!! I don't particularly care about the money although I am at breaking point with finances, its the not having the baby and its killing me. Seems the child maintenance only listens to the mother?

Is court the only way I could get my nights back?
Is mediation legally binding? If not what the point with a unstable ex who daily changes the goal posts?
How hard is it to get shared residency given my shifts are 4 on 6 off?

And advice would be much appreciated!!

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 05/10/2014 10:57 pm
(@mr-slim)
Famed Member Registered

Hey dude welcome to the forum, you have come to the fight place for sure, there's a [censored] of a lot of us who were/are in the same position as yourself and we will all help you out as much as we can 🙂

Try to take a step back calm down and I can assure you this WILL be sorted out and you WILL get to be part of your Daughters life and have decent contact 🙂

Mediation is not legally binding but you have to attempt it before you make an application to court, are you on the birth certificate?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 05/10/2014 11:11 pm
markp4338 and markp4338 reacted
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

Hi Mark

I presume she is doing this so that they don't do the reduction for overnight stays - I know this is only a slight consolation if it works, but will she let you have the baby more evenings without a stay over night - that way the maintenance isn't reduced and you get more contact. I'm not justifying what she's doing, because it's completely wrong - just wondering if there's a way to get you more contact for the moment.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/10/2014 12:11 am
markp4338 and markp4338 reacted
(@Greyling)
Estimable Member Registered

Hi Mark, welcome to the forum, we all thought we were unique before we came here, you will find loads of help and support, Slims right you need to go to mediation first, make appointment know, get the ball rolling, we were all in despair some of us still are at times, but once you start to en-power and take control yourself, you begin to feel better, its not easy, no one will tell you it is, but were all here to help each other.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/10/2014 4:02 am
markp4338 and markp4338 reacted
(@markp4338)
Active Member Registered

Thanks guys,

Yes slim I am on the birth certificate.

Actd no she won't let me do that either which is equally frustrating.

Greyling, I guess your right and simply I have no other option but to go the mediation/court.

The ex is a very controlling women and it was the main reason for our split. Its the power over me which she loves and continually changes plans at a moments notice...because she can.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 06/10/2014 2:51 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi Mark, just wanted to say hi and welcome.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/10/2014 10:28 pm
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