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Hi guys ,
I left my partner a few months ago after realizing that the relationship was volitile and simple would not work, and knew that I could be a much better Father outside of the relationship.
My partner was pregnant with triplets, on wednesday 29th August 2012 at 2am she gave premature birth to all three children at 26 weeks, two of my children survived but my little freya only managed 7 hours on this earth, she passed away at 0902 am on 29 Aug.
Obviously im devestated and my ex allowed me and my close family to visit her in the chapel, however my other two surviving childen , Jack and Polly, who are just over 1lb each, are seriously ill, and she has flat refused me access to see them in neo natal and basically says I cannot see them. She then says on in a simple TEXT message, IF they make it out of hospital, in around four months that we could go to court and sort out access then.Simply put I dont think my children have that long.
Does anyone know if iI have any legal rights to see my very ill children, can she stop me from seeing them? I understand as we were unmarried there are complications but I just feel like she is holding all the cards and is simply being harsh and getting a bit of revenge.
I have tried talking , texting and apologise but nothing seems to be working, Initially she said I could see them in week or so but now she is simpily saying no.
Ive already met one of my children in a mortury and as things stand I could well be meeting the other two in the same way. I just want to see my children alive. Can anyone out there help me. I understand it a tough one and most poeple will think its bad I left while she was still pregnant but please belive me when I say it was the best for the childrens well being, I have said to my ex I left her not the kids.
Hi and welcome
I am truly sorry for what you are going through - I simply cannot imagine the pain of losing one child, let alone the possibility of more.
I don't think normally you would have many rights at this stage, but whether a court would order contact in these circumstances is something I am not sure about. As this is obviously something that has to happen quickly, I will ask the CCLC whether you have any chance of something being ordered quickly, or you could contact them directly - there is a link to their website at the bottom of this site.
I wish you a lot of luck in what you are trying to do.
I'm VERY sorry to hear about your loss
May i ask if you are registered on there birth certificates ?
if you are you have legal rights to see them in neonatual unit
Though I would advice to get legal advice and seek help from this matter as Im not sure how your legal rights stand
I really hope you get advice and get to see your babies
thanks for the comments guys, i did manage to get to speak to the neonatal nurse who is caring for my son, she said that she can tell me bits of what is going on and to be fair is kinda in my corner although they are restricted on what they can do, jack is stable on a perm vent but but polly is very poorly. As for birth cert nothing has been done as yet as my ex is still ill in hospital and i wouldnt be surprised is figs out that i fim not on the birth certs then i simply wouldnt have any chance of seeing them. I am taking legakl advise in the morning but I fairly sure that I have no legal rightsto see them unless my ex says so, and she said this on text also that she will decied when i can see them them, there is no amount of begging or resoning i havnt tried.
Hi There,
I mirror what's been said above.
I would have thought that a judge would be able to apply an energancy contact order in these circumstances.
I'm sure a solicitor would be pushing for this.
Good luck and let us know.
Darren
In addition to what i've written above.
It's just occured to me that you ex has already given signs of showing your link as a father to the children by allowing you to see freya, I would ask your solicitor to push on this fact and that she has already allowed this.
Darren
Dear Si James 100,
Thank you for your query.
If the mother is not letting you see the children and if you feel that the children may not have long to live (as you have mentioned in your query), you could apply to the court for an 'Emergency Specific Issue Order'.
A Specific Issue Order is an Order giving directions for the purpose of determining a Specific question which has arisen with any aspect of Parental Responsibility.
You can represent yourself or use a solicitor in making the application.
If you want to represent yourself you could visit the HMCS website – www.justice.gov.uk to download the C100 application form. Additionally, you can download guidance notes called CB1 and CB3. There is a fee approximately around £200 - £250 for making the application which covers the proceedings. If you wanted to make the application on an Emergency basis, you will have to go down to your local County/ Family court with your completed application and advise the court clerk that you would like to make an 'Emergency Specific Issue Order' and give your reasons as to why you think it is an Emergency.
If you want to use a solicitor you can contact Community Legal Advice, on 0845 345 4345 to have a legal aid assessment undertaken. They may be able to provide a list of solicitors local to your area.
If you have any further questions please contact us via our webchat facility or by telephone on 0808 802 0008. The link to our webchat is http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/index.php?page=web_chat.
Yours sincerely,
Coram Children’s Legal Centre.
hey everyone just a update, ive had a break through with th ex today and i finally got to meet little polly and jack tonight x Polly is responding well to treatment and has a very positive outlook docs say, unfortunatly my little jack is a very very poorly boy, and has many complications like low blood pressure and low oxygen levels. I promise to keep you all updated and just wanted to say thankyou for your amazing support, its nice to know that im not on my own x thanks guys x
That's great news, thanks for the up-date.
I'm sure I speak for us all when I say we have our fingers crossed for you.
Darren
I have just read your messages.
I am so sorry for loss.
I think you wont be judged for leaving (you were putting your children first) nobody can fault you for that. I am so pleased you have been able to see your son and daughter. What a horrible situation to find yourself in. I know people have their reasons for their actions but denying a partner/father/mother etc access at this time is just horrific.
My fingers and toes are crossed for you all! Have you heard about Cruse bereavement counselling?... Don't be afraid to speak to someone.....
Best Wishes.x
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