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Current handovers take place at sons grandfathers as per the court order. This was put in place as the ex stated domestic abuse, no fact finding required, it was deemed to be not relevent even if proven true (poke in the back for snoring and a false accusation of a thrown bottle of moisturiser). He has for the last three years, during handovers, been verbally abuse on occasions, telling me to p*ss off, trying to start arguments infront of son for example. This all started after i won the first court case for contact.
After I won the second court case, which was for a disagreement surrounding swimming lessons, he then became worse. On the first collection after court he began swearing and threatened me with assault. On the next contact he began again, where luckily i caught him on an audio recording admitting to the previous weeks actions, which was reported to the police.
I have for the last two months refused to collect my son from him, i feel that the situation will come to blows eventually, where i no doubt will be at fault for defending myself, and ultimately could lose seeing my son. Besides that, after three years, why should i continue to put myself and my son in that situation of conflict, being harrassed and threat of assualt.
My ex has stated that no one else can accomodate the handover and does not appreciate my reasonings which has left me without seeing my son. So I either keep putting myself in the situation, or i stand my ground and refuse for her father to be the appointed person for handovers.
Ultimately this will need to go back to court i know but my questions are, firstly, am i being unreasonable or over reacting?
Also if this goes back to court and she states there is no one else availble for handovers, and i refuse her father, what will the courts decide potentially?
Im dubious that they will say she has to do the handovers due to the previous accusations, despite the fact she has met with me at school meetings, and has been there for handovers at her dads house on occasion, so obviously no issue when it suits.
At what point does the court say theres no option but to cancel all contact?
The court is very unlikely to cancel all contact and will expect you both to agree something suitable. You could do handovers in a public place perhaps but for the time being it's best to keep to the court order. Suggest you use AppClose or similar for contact about your son. You could have a contact book for writing down anything relevant about your son which is passed between you. Also keep a diary note of all incidents. Put your phone on record so if there is any abuse it can be reported to the police. Try to keep away from the front door if your son is old enough walk the last part on his own. Similarly for pick-ups. Do not respond to the abuse however hard that may be.
hi,
I think best place for handovers is at school. if his ex not willing to change location, then would have to take it back to court to vary order.
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