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Hi I’m new on here!
Right where to start! I’ve got two boys under the age of 5 and I’ve split from my ex 18 months ago and it was a horrible break up, long story short we Split up and after we split she called the police saying I beat her and controlled all finances, she applied for a molestation order but it didn’t go though, nothing from the police as I proved all bills where in her name and just the car and insurance was in mine, we both had personal bank accounts so that wasn’t an issue .
I’m paying child main £150 a month and still paying mortgage and bills (£1300) for a house I don’t live in, we are not married too!
We have a child arrangements me seeing the kids 2 days a week after work, but she changes it cancels a lot due to saying oh seeing family, I work so hard so to pay for everything so I work 7 days a week!
I ask to see them weekends but she always busy and only have to come to the house which stresses me out as I have to knock on the door as she changed the locks (I own half the house)
She tells me you need to see the boys more but when I do she makes it difficult like saying see them during the day which I have work, and I need to work to keep a roof over there heads
I’ve got a solicitor but he sent few letters and charged me £2k , I can’t afford to do this route but I can’t afford to keep paying for the house!
Now it stresses me out so much I’ve been so depressed and thoughts of suicide, I’m stuck on what to do a joined this forum to help me though the next steps
Hope some on can help please
Hi
Unf this is what happened to me . You need to go to court for a child arrangement orders . Costs £215 to apply and it’s doable without solicitor barrister .on that note don’t bother wkth a solicitor as you’ve seen you get charged a lot of money for nothing .read up on here / google family court without a solicitor etc and you’ll find lots of info aboht the process .
Does your ex work ? Is she on the mortgage ?
Also as it’s your house too you can enter as you please . Be careful tho as she’s changed the locks you don’t force entry . Speak to citizens advice re that as you don’t want her calling the police saying you’ve forced entry .
If she’s on the mortgage you’re both liable to pay . If you don’t have a financial order in place remember you don’t have to give her any thing . Perhaps they will Focus her mind . It would my ex
Hi yes she does work at home I know it’s cash tho, we are both on the mortgage, I left paying the bills till late and she was treating that I can’t see my children if I didn’t pay! I went to citizens advice in my area but they couldn’t help me as she been there for help, so I have to go to another one which I’m going to book Monday! I’ve done some googling and going to a meet that I found on family’s need dads! I’ve had no one I can talk to as I know no one in this situation
It’s tough when they use kids to get money I’m in the same boat . Does the ex not pay towards the bills ? If she’s working and she’s got money she should be ! If you’ve moved out then tell her you’re telling the utility companies you’ve moved out and get your name off the bills . I was in the same boat and it makes you feel bad if you cut their money off but if she’s working cash in hand and she can pay her bills she should! When my ex moved out all the bills where in her name in the new place . That way if she decided to spend the maintenance on [censored] and not food and heat i wouldn’t be getting chased for it ..if there’s no court order for finance don’t hand over any money .
hi Daniel,
what are your thoughts on selling up, do a 50/50 split on house equity? do you think your ex will be interested in that? if you end up going down that route, it would be better to do child arrangements c100 first. that way she can not try blackmail you in future, by saying sort out finances first if you want to see your kids.
it is a crappy situation where she doesnt let you see kids on weekends. in court the standard is see kids every other weekend to start off with.
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