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My wife and I were in an unhappy marriage where we both knew it was going no where. I met someone else and from there my marriage came to end. My daughter were made aware of the situation in more details than they needed to know. She hates me for what has happened and now refuses to see me. Although this may seem like early days as this happened 2 months ago, it really hurts.
I have tried to arrange things amicably with my ex wife and it is getting fraught and I'm being told to wait until my daughter feels ready to see me.
It seems that although I have took a step back and my daughter fully sees the decision I took was not done to hurt her and she sees my ex wife and I communicating amicably, she still refuses to see me.
I am messaging her daily to make contact and am getting some answers back but when I discuss seeing her she backs off and refuses to see me.
I am not an angry man or violent in any way. My daughter and I have always had a good relationship and this has really affected her to the extent of her not wanting to see me.
Please help....I want to see my daughter but she doesn't want to see me.....what can I do?
Thankyou
Hi
It doesn't seem like the mother is doing much to support your daughter at this difficult time. If she has been told more than she needs to know, this must be a very distressing and confusing time for your daughter.
How old is she?
Have you thought about asking the mother to attend mediation with you to discuss things?
Just my opinion her, but I would ease off messaging your daughter every day, and message her perhaps a couple of times a week. If you keep on every day, she may just delete the message almost automatically, whereas you want it to be something she thinks about. You could tell her you'll give her a bit of space, just so she doesn't think you are not thinking about her, and of couse tell her she can message you whenever she feels like it. Just my twopenny worth.
Totally agree with the suggestion to back off a bit and not send messages every day if she is not responding. You may already be doing this, but just in case, when you do send messages, consider her point of view, ie, rather than saying "I feel terrible" (which I'm sure you do), try to think and communicate in terms of how she feels and how this is affecting her. I'm sorry about this, it sounds like a situation where you need to step back and take a deep breath, and sometimes that's the hardest thing to do.
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