[Solved] Help needed please.

Hi There,
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Before you try and fight this you need to try and get yourself into a stronger head space, I would go and see your GP and explain what is going on and ask for help, they will have things that they can do.
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You do have rights even though you aren't on the birth cert, you would need to firstly try mediation to see if you can reach an agreement, if you aren't able to or your ex won't attend then you can apply to the family courts for help, but all of this will take it's toll on you so speak with your GP first and start looking after yourself.
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You need to try and eat as well as you can, I know it's hard, but if you aren't then you are going to be low on energy which will make things harder to deal with.
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GTTS

Hi

Firstly i wanted to sorry for the situation you are in. I have no idea what you must be going through. I think the first port of call is to go to your doctor and then to the Citizens Advice Bureau. You need to get your place in the 'right place' and understand your rights as a father. Your long term aim needs to be to create a stable environment for you and your children because that's the only way the Courts will let you have your children​ stay with you.

Your focus needs to be on you and your children and not your ex. Sounds like she's trying to tournament you through the texts. Ignore them and focus on what's important, that isn't her but you and the kids

If the texts are intruding, you can buy a cheap pay as you go mobile, just for her to contact you and then put it away and look at it when you choose to, therefore taking back some control over that situation.

If you are having difficulty sleeping then joining a gym, or any form of physical excercise will help with. This. As GTTS mentioned making sure you are eating. Also important for keeping your strength up, if you can't face a full meal, try eating a little more often.

We are here to listen and support you where we can, from the sound of it your quality of life would be better if she were to move on to someone else...just concentrate on your children and getting yourself in a better place.

All the best

Hello there, Just a little update of whats been happening.

She apologized and said I could go and spend the weekend with the kids, so I jumped at the opportunity. While I was there all she kept going on about is me moving back in with her and the kids. I said as much as I would love to I couldn't as me and her didn't see eye to eye. She didn't like this so decided to start drinking wine at 11am. Then came all the abuse again and manipulation. I am now in work which is keeping me busy but she has message me on facebook saying that I have really upset the kids and I'm not aloud to see them again. I have chose to ignore her but i'm not sure where to go from here? do I give her time to relax and maybe try see my kids or go and see a solicitor?

Hi there

Keeping busy is good.... all of these messages are designed to control and manipulate you and get you to tow her line.

You showed a lot of strength to stand up to her, it would have been easier to slip back and move back with her, but you did the right thing....she's angry as she can see her control slipping away.

If she settles down how long will it be for? I think you would be better off trying to keep your distance from her and arranging contact with your kids away from her home to be honest.

Mediation would be your first step and until you've attempted that it would be pretty pointless going to see a solicitor at this stage. Here's a link to the mediation service

www.nfm.org.uk

If mediation fails, or she refuses to attend, the mediator will sign off the form to enable an application for a Child Arrangements Order. At this point you have the option of employing a solicitor, or doing it without one... many dads here have managed well representing themselves, it's doable, will save you heaps of money and we can advise and support you as you go.

All the best