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My ex partner keeps tugging at my heart strings.
We have two children one eight and one two, they live with her but I have them every Tuesday over night for tea, the odd Thursday for tea when they by her words are doing her head in and then EVERY week from about 4.30 Friday till 7.00am Monday. When we split I gave her 10 grand which I had to add to my mortgage so she could get her self sorted and I pay her Β£240.00 a month, I am on Β£27,000 before deductions. The house was mine when we got together and she never ever paid anything towards it eve when she worked, she always spent more than she earned, yep I should of got out when I knew but she got pregnant( I thought she was on the pill). I also pay half towards my 8 year old daughters uniforms and pay all her school trip costs etc. I also pay for all clothing for both children and was paying for nappies etc for my little one, my ex would never send them over with an over night bag. I also put money away every week for there future.
Main reason I am contacting you is that she doesn't work and regularly moans she has no money for food and heating, even though she can smoke, have an iphone6 on contract and regularly buy new clothes. I mentioned to her that I thought she could work at least 16 hours and would not lose benefits, but she reckons that if she works that she would lose certain benefits and it is not worth her working.
Would anyone be able to advise if she can work and if she would still get benefits or if I should be paying more,
Hi there
I never understand this misguided belief that people are worse off working! My daughter is a single parent and works 16 hours and states categorically that she is better off, not just financially but also on a personal level.
If your ex got a part time job she would be entitled to working family tax credits, which more than make up for the benefits she may lose.
Here's a link to the CSA calculator where you can get a rough idea of what you should be paying. The extras that you cover are what s called discretionary payments and you don't have to pay them if you are struggling. You sound like a good man who only wants to do right by your kids and sometimes this is taken advantage of!
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
It's common for the resident parent not to send an overnight bag, or to expect all clothes and extras to be bought by the other parent, it's a matter of finding a happy medium.... Best of luck with it. π
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