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Hello Hallsie,
Reading your sad story was like reliving mine which happened almost 4 years ago, you have my deepest sympathy. There is so much pain and anguish that comes from a situation that happens as sudden and unexpected as this. My wife and I eventually divorced but I have learned much from my experience of the aftermath and if I can be of any help I would be more than happy to pass it on. It will feel like it's the end of the world but you must stay strong and in control, retain your dignity, ensure to the children that they are in no way to blame, and show some compassion to your wife even though you do not understand why she feels as she does. I would advise though that you suggest she moves out for a while to gather her feelings and emotions, being under each others feet leads to walking on eggshells and resentments easily begin, if possible I think it's best that the children stay with you in the marital home ( I think this is extremely important for their stability, for your focus and for your wife to have space with no pressures) but obviously with as much access as she needs.I once read that the general concensus by "experts" is if a marraige has a chance of repairing itself it will happen within 3 to 4 months of separation, I'm sure there are few others on here who have been in a similar position and will perhaps give better or more advice, but for now I hope this helps.
Hi , thanks for that . I am trying to be all that you have said in your response but knowing which way to turn is difficult . Being under the same roof is very hard for me as I want to carry on doing all the things that couples do but can't as from her there is nothing. The kids are doing really well at the moment but its because we are all in the same house - my wife would never leave the children to get space and fully expects them to go with her , i cannot deny her this as she dotes on them as they do mum .
I dont expect its going to be easy by any means and deep down I hope we can reconcile after all is said and done but at the moment that looks bleak at best .
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