[Solved] Hello group another dad here

Hi, and welcome to the forum. Sounds like you have managed to make a good life tor you and your boys. Do you have a civil relationship with your ex?

Thanx for the welcome

Yeah i do now but at the time of separation it wasn't always that easy, i guess this is natural. I knew from the start though that playing the long game is more positive on the kids and court is a mugs game for all involved. I gave everything a wide birth, understood their mum with mothers emotions and let it ride its course keeping a tight hold on the unity of everything, i always saw my kids even the week later after i left, she didn't really have a choice, . As much as we both made mistakes i guess we both new that in the end we had to become friends again. If we wanted to have that tight unity still as the kids grow older. There was many time i could have gone the court way but new this was not really the best option so i rode it out, and was still there for their mother as well so we could still have a good friendship in the future and its paid off , we are the best of friends and have been for along time now.

I guess when i left her i kept hold of the fact i had four children with her in the first place so there must have been a reason i chose to, despite how thing was left and happened. Keeping this in mind all the time was i big factor and when the dust settled , wounds healed we both saw that we loved each other once for a reason and that cant ever be taken back.

we are pretty tight to be honest, i know all situations aren't like this but i could have easily gone the court way and spilled out but i guess you got to think of the bigger picture. cant exactly go to parents evening together, share birthdays and so forth once you have tossed it around in court.

Sorry for the long winded reply, man i haven't spoke about it in awhile haha 🙂

; Just realised you may have been referring to marriage lol but i just assumed by civil you meant friendly.. Sorry no i wasn't married to their partner nor had no agreement of a civil relationship if that s what you mean't.:)

You read it correctly, that I meant friendly. It can be hard to do what you have done, and it's not always possible, but where it is, it's by far the best solutuion - I think you story is something that's always good to hear - there are a lot of times when this does happen, but mostly you don't hear about them because they don't need help, and are just getting on with life 🙂

Cool stuff 🙂

Yeah i totally agree, life has a funny way of swallowing us up and we just plod along. Also agree that many are unable to do this or fall into the trap of fighting. Its so easy to blame one and other, but a lot of the times its just the way it is. things end i guess

My heart goes out to the ones where this isn't possible and i think is a lot, which is sad but what can you do about it. I guess just have places like this and help from supporting people is fantastic.

The reason i joined is because i have a few things i am going through in a parental way which i am really unsure about and want to make sure i get right. My eldest son is suffering with anger issues and im not 100% sure how to deal with it , but i will talk about this in the appropriate place on the boards. Thank you for the very nice welcome bud, its much appreciated 🙂

Hi there and welcome to our forum.

It's great that you have been able to find a way through separation for the sake of the kids, its as much to do with their mother accepting the status quo too and being emotionally stable enough to get on with it! Unfortunately some of our dads are often dealing with ex partners/wives with narcisstic or controlling personalities and no amount of reasoning or time given will change their hostility!

I'm sorry to hear that your eldest is having anger problems, but you sound like the kind of dad that will be able to help him with that and of course we will try and help if we can....keep posting, I think you'll find we are a friendly bunch!

All the best