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[Solved] Hello. Another newbie another sad story

 
(@mikeparkes66)
Active Member Registered

Hello every one

I am a new dad first time and I have an amazing little boy called Noah 12lb9oz. Born 06/12/12

I am not with my ex any more, we were not married and at present she will only talk via txt and I have seen him twice now.

She won't confirm if Iam going to be on the birth certificate or not and is allowing 1 visit a week if accompanied by some one else.

I should mention I am an average chap. No drugs or violence or alcohol issues. She just does not like me any more after an argument about being excluded from her life and the unborn baby when we were together.

So that's the start of my story, throw in she has MS and there is a child protection order on him and his brother. ( he is 8 and different father ) and there you have a recipe for disaster.

But I cannot walk away and leave him with out a dad and I cannot walk away with out my son

I know I have no rights unless I am on the birth certificate which is why she is delaying answering what' will happen. If I don't get knit then I will simply apply to court for it Can't afford solicitor etc so will be doing it on my own. :-(. Scares the [censored] out of me to be honest but I know it's the right thing to do and what I want

Sorry about this intro

Mike

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 18/12/2012 10:24 pm
 ak57
(@ak57)
Prominent Member Registered

HI Congratulations on becoming a daddy, and wow what a great weight. .
My advise would not to delay, I expect you will have to wait till you see if she puts you on the bc but it sounds like she wont. Lots of Dads are doing it by them selfs, keep up as much contact as possible, keep a record of everything you buy and all texts, start typing up notes with dates, BE PREPARED ! you will need a c100 and a c2 for parent responsibility send both forms together and the fee is £200. I have to say the court will expect you to try meditation, www.nfm.org.uk
I think are the cheapest I have found, depending what you earn, and remember mediation is your control and if after a few attempts you can inform the mediator its not worth going on if your ex says no, they will then fill in the fm1 you can give this to the court to say you have attended. When you get parent responsibilty this will give you more rights and maybe you should go the social services, but Nannyjane has more experiance regards this so hopefully she will post

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19/12/2012 4:25 am
(@Darren)
Noble Member Registered

Hi

Congatulations on becoming a dad and welsome to the forum.

As Ak57 has said being prepaired will help you loads when and if the time to go to court, the more evidence you have documented the better.

I would give mediation a good bash before trying court though as you may find that you can sort things easier this way.

Whilst your son is so young, I wouldn't expect to get un supervised visits or long extended time with him as he will be very dependant on mum at this stage.

Darren

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19/12/2012 11:55 am
(@Nannyjane)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi Mike and welcome 🙂 ...Big congratulations on becoming a Daddy!

I echo what has been advised above. Have you had any communication with the Social Services concerning your son and the fact that he is on a protection order? Unfortunately the SS can be very tight lipped when it comes to discussing a particular childs welfare, even with parents that have PR. I would touch base with them and let them know you are seeking to play an active role in your sons life and that you will be preparing to go to court if necassary to gain your rights of PR and contact. Ask them to log your calls and your concerns and to be informed of any developments with regard to the child protection order.

Good luck with everything 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19/12/2012 2:45 pm
(@mikeparkes66)
Active Member Registered

Hi quick update
I see Noah, my wonderful son once a week at Asda cafe. For an hour

But sadly she has registered the birth with out me. So how do I apply to get my name on the bc ???

Regards

And tonight keeping my chin up is a struggle 🙁

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 09/01/2013 2:18 am
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

you can apply for parental responsibility at the same time as applying for a contact order - this gives you the same rights and responsibilities as having your name on the birth certificate.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 09/01/2013 2:22 am
(@mikeparkes66)
Active Member Registered

Where is the guide that was on here. The print out one ??

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 09/01/2013 2:25 am
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member
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