[Solved] Hello and Looking for help

Hi, I am new to the forum and really seeking everyone's wisdom and, if anything, help moving forward with CAFCASS and the Court (as the the kids mum doesn't seem interested to engage).
I have 4 amazing children, ranging from 15 down to 7. They are all doing really well in their health and educational attainments but struggle with emotions and lack of contact with me. The eldest was part of the Ex-wife's use of Parental Alienation and weaponised her in court against me, which worked well for her, sadly against me as I was not prepared for this type of behaviour.

In brief, we separated in late 2017 (September), and she had moved out the FMH with her new partner. the children was, as they wished for, in a 50/50 shared care and that worked really well for everyone concerned for around 6 months. The kids spent one week on / one week off with a mid week dinner.
In early 2018 (March) I was approached by the ex saying she was moving back into the FMH with her partner, and it was up to me if i stayed or moved out but the kids would be remaining in the ex-FMH. I obtained a court order stopping her from this, and at the same time asked for a child order to be created so that I was not faced with the ongoing fear of the children being used or taken away, as she continued to threaten this, unless I did what she said. The DJ requested a safeguarding Telephone call, to which was reported all fine and no issues to arise, other than us parents not being too nice about each other (true). At the next hearing, on the day I was given a 7 page statement from the ex with a list of allegations of abuse against her and my eldest daughter (emotional and bullying). With a request for a section 7 by CAFCASS. The judge agreed to the report, but the 50/50 was to continue as 'The ex raised to immediate concerns against this'.
The S7 was completed and no safeguarding issues were found, but the S7 recommended to continue with shared care as the 'children were consistent with their wishes for this'.
Fast forward to January 2019 (some 18months into shared care) and the final hearing: The ex provided her statement with ongoing allegations, my statement was on the children and their positive strengths and current situation being one of health and wellbeing. In court (Magistrates) the CAFCASS officer went against his OWN recommendation due to ongoing conflict between parents and informed the Magistrates to award the children to the mother, as she lived in the FMH (having bought me out, and moved back in December 2018) and this would reduce conflict and allow the children a happier environment to live in.....!!!!
Foolishly, I did not appeal, but tried to live in the new arrangement for 6 months, but had requested additional time to see the children, as they wished for this and had asked both of us.
I found out shortly after the hearing, that my eldest had been taken to therapy, and was told it was due to my bullying and abuse of her. Longer story but she had believed I was doing this most of 2018 due to her mother telling her I abused her and therefore would abuse my daughter as they are 'so much alike'. THANKFULLY, my daughter doesnt believe this and we have a fantastic relationship however the allegations continue.
In May 2019, I asked for a change to the Order to comply with the children wishes, for 1 extra sleep and a mid week dinner (i sometimes go up to 19 days without seeing them). This was refused. *side note - I have had to give up 5 weekends as my ex has organised time with the eldest two without any communication or asking me, and I have had to accept as the eldest ones would be upset if I didn't. I have had NO extra time given to me to compensate.
In July, i submitted a variation application, and still wait for the final hearing. In October we had the first hearing, with CAFCASS present, the SAME officer as before tried to force me to accept a final order in a side room. I asked for this to be an interim trial arrangement to be reviewed before the final hearing. This was rejected by him. CAFCASS were instructed to provide a 'lived with experience' report, and this was done. the youngest two (10 &7) still want 50/50 to be reinstalled and commented that they were confused by the new arrangements as they don't have regular childcare in the mornings (i used to do all school runs as i work from home, the mother leaves at 7:30 in the morning, and the kids fend for themselves until 8:30 when a friend takes them to school). 2nd eldest commented that she wanted 50/50 but have become accustomed to the new arrangement. the eldest was happy as she could walk to school but wanted more time with me. Recommendation was for additional time to be given - again rejected by the ex-wife.
Since October, she has now refused to communicate directly with me, as I am abusive and controlling and she can't cope. (strange as any communication from me is checked by either my solicitor or an advocate on family law and is simply requests for time) however her messages contain insults, name calling, threats and more.
We are now in April, court date for July is more than likely to be postponed. I am getting little to no confidence any thing will change. I have asked CAFCASS repeatedly for help and assistance to communicate with my ex, as the children are being told I am abusing her (they don't believe her thankfully, but her tears to them do carry some emotional worry).

Surely, if the CAFCASS officer goes against his own recommendation and the new order from that is damaging and worse - where is their accountability to this?

There is a lot more in her attitude which is NOT child focused, example being she refuses the children want more time and has only ever fought in their interests - however the S7 and addendum reports are clear.

any thoughts and positive approaches to helping me are greatly welcome.