[Solved] Hello all

Go on the Child maintenance options website to work out what you should be paying. www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator

what they say is what you should be paying
Anything above what it says is down to what you want to pay, however, anything below it and if she decided to get the CSA involved you'd have to pay more and likely backpay too....and let me tell you now...they are not nice people to deal with.

Hi There,
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As said above, the CMS calculator will help you to see what you should have to pay, CSA are no longer taking cases, you could open a case with CMS and allow them to calculate what you have to pay and still pay her directly.
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If you do continue to pay her privately and she then opens a case with CMS they can only back date to the date she opens the case and not back any further.
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follow this link to work out a rough amount CMS would award her.
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https://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/
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GTTS

You need to take care of yourself mate. Sometimes men can be a bit too eager to give give give, to the point where the less recognition we get the more we keep giving, but if you're constantly tired, working multiple jobs and not sure how much longer you can keep it going, you need to take a minute to pause, take a deep breath, and take care of yourself first, otherwise you're going to burnout and that is not going to help your daughter.

I know from experience that it's easier said than done, but you'd benefit from not worrying too much about what her son says. If he carries that attitude, he's bound to hit a wall sooner or later, but that is his dad's job to deal with, your job is to take care of yourself so that you are in a good place to take care of your daughter.

Thanks mate, i really appreciate your comments. Its been really hard but ill get through it.
Good to hear someone with similar experiences, at the moment trying to get hold of CAB,
its impossible, especially if you work as much as me. I think i need to take a day off work and just go to the local
office, impossible to find a contact number etc.

Anyway gotta dash, im expected at a resturaunt for my saturday 10 hr stint.

Cheers again Fella.
Simon.

Hi all I'm Nick. I'm going through a really tough time with my ex.. I recently 3 months ago took my kids off my ex as she was hurting them ... I informed soucile service right away ... they said the kids are to stay in my care for a month to give the mum a brake.... so stop payments to her as I needed it to feed the kids when I gave the kids back for a second time has had cosmetic surgery on my 8 year old girls ears... now iv told soucile service about this and they did nothing ... they even told her that I made the compliant.... so I'm going through with it with the brief .... How do I get the kids out of her custody right away till a court date for her .... now she has been arrested has a caution and a statement saying she admits to hurting the kids please help it an emergency and soucile service won't help

Hi there

I think Social Services have to be up front about who has complained, the same happened to my son, he asked them if they could leave his name out of it when they went to see his ex and they said they can't do that.

When you say you're going through with it with the brief, do you mean you have a solicitor?

Are you seeing the children at all right now? When did she make the statement admitting that she hurts the kids? When was the arrest and caution, was it before or after you took the kids?

Sorry for all the questions, but its difficult to give advice without knowing much about your situation.

Generally, if you have the kids on a visit and are concerned about their welfare, you can keep hold of them and make an urgent, no notice application for them to live with you, and at the same time, apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent them being removed from your care.

I would only recommend this action, if there are really serious welfare/safeguarding risks to the children. If you are not named on their birth certificates, you don't have Parental Responsibility and can't take this action, as the police will just remove them and place them back with the mother.

To make sure the court know it's very urgent you can take the forms into the court in person and explain how urgent it is that your case gets heard immediately, explain that there's social services and police involvement and your children are at risk.

When you ask for a no notice application, this just means that the court will hear your case without telling the mother beforehand, if the court thinks your children's situation is serious enough, they will make an interim order for the children to be put in your care and make arrangements for another hearing, when the mother will be given the opportunity to tell her side of things. The court will ask Social Services and the police for information about your ex's involvement with them and ask for welfare reports to be made.

You can do this with or without a solicitor, to go ahead without a solicitor you would need form C100 to make both applications and form C1a to tell the court about the harm that is happening to your children. The cost of submitting the forms will be £215, unless you are on benefits, or a low income, in which case you can apply for an exemption from the fees and you would need form EX160 to do that.

You can make the same application, even if you don't have the children with you. There are no guarantees that the court will listen, things have to be pretty bad before they will move children to the other parent.

All the best