[Solved] Hello - advice and support needed!

Hi Gian and welcome to the Forum 🙂

I have moved your post into its own topic...this section is for introducing yourself to our members, but if you want specific advice then it's better to post any queries over in the Legal Eagle section, it's a lot busier over there!

Just be very careful with any communication with your ex as she has already started down the "intimidation" route.

My advice to you would be to get to Mediation asap, this is the first step and can help to get things back on track without resorting to court, which can and often does, make a fraught situation worse. Here's a link to the mediation service

www.nfm.org.uk

Best of luck

Hi Gain,

I did not see my son for 2 weeks, as Mojo has suggested try to get resolved through mediation, once you have agreed the arrangement in mediation you can have it in writing and if required that can get that converted to a order with consent.

Best advice I can give is, do not get emotional. I know it's hard but unfortunately that is our situation. You need to work with the Mother, if you want to settle outside court.

I am presuming that you are separated, when did you separate ?

1 year ago we separated and things had been fairly cordial. I have texts to prove that. But since she moved a new boyfriend into her home, she has been gradually getting more demanding. She is a very controlling girl and I walked on eggshells to keep her sweet.

I am barely function at the moment, its the fear of not being so hands on in my daughters life that is so devastating.

I used to run home from work every night to pick up my daughter and have her stop over with me 2/3 nights a week, but since the ex ant mad at me last weekend I've seen my little girl only 3 hrs at the ex's sisters house.......

Thank you for your advice, its a heartbreaking experience and one i never imagined when the girlfriend was pregnant,. I never dreamt that she could find someone else to love so soon after giving birth to our daughter. It was like I was used to set up home and then discarded.........Im already finding consolation in the forum but my darling baby girl won't be close to me if we have minimal contact.

Hello Gian, take heart, things will get better although it may not feel like it at present, I have watched my Son go through a living [censored] and as his Mother I have found it a very traumatic experience as I cannot do much other than to be available for him to talk to and hopefully be able to give him hope. My Son has been and is still going through the process to gain more access to his children and he is being successful. The Mother is so unbelievably unreasonable, incapable of mediation, even the mediator recognized this and recommended going straight to court so he did. He is in court again later in the month and it has been recommended he get the access he has asked for.
It is a terrible thing to have to go through but do stay strong..
1) For the time being accept any offer to see your child that is forthcoming.
2) Try to have the meet in a public place. This makes it more difficult for an unreasonable parent to act inappropriately and level vindictive accusations or even become.physical as there are people who could bare witness to an injustice
3) Send a message everyday enquiring how your daughter is, Email or text.
4) Never behave or resort to the same behaviour as your ex which seems to be totally unacceptable.
5) When it comes to Mediation, Cafcass and the Court be honest, stick to the facts, let them know how much you love and miss your daughter.

The one thing that I find so unbelievable is that any mother who denies a good father access to his children and/or uses them as emotional weapons, in my opinion, her ability as a mother should be very seriously questioned and scrutinized. It doesn't seem to happen but hopefully one day it will.

Take care , this dreadful period in your life will pass!

Hi There,

Many of us have been where you are now with no contact or very little, I haven't been accused of anything as you have but many have and as you say it seems to be becoming the norm to try and muddy the water.

I agree with most of what's been suggested above with the exception of "send daily messages to ask how she is" where as this is completely innocent and wouldn't ever be harrasment by doing this you would be giving your ex the excuse to claim it.

When the accusations start you need to become squeeky clean and not give any reason for her to be able to claim anything, txt and calls are easily tracable and although they would be to check on how your daughter is your ex could say they are over welming and harrasing.

GTTS