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so as some of you may have read in my previous post about my story
i had my return hearing for non mol yesterday, her barrister had none of the paperwork i had submitted and neither did the judge
the barrister spoke to me before we went in and was very controlling and bullying but i didn't put up with any of it and told her i would be contesting it fully
she kept saying "i dont think thats wise, i think the best course is you accept the order but we take away the criminal charge" but i still said no thanks im still contesting it
went into courtroom and felt like it was a bullying onslaught from barrister and judge...with ex sitting behind doing the crying bit....ffs
judge asked me 3 times was i sure i wanted to contest because if her allegations are believed then the order would stand with the criminal charge and that would affect contact orders?
so he said if i was you id take the non mol order without the charge and just continue on your contact path.......so judge advised me to allow her lies to stand and i walk off with an order....ermmm no so im sure a complaint can be upheld there
i said 3 times i wanted to contest it and the judge said "ok but i suggest you get legal advice", i explained i cant afford it and he said "im not asking..im telling!!"
he then asked her barrister if police have ever been involved in our relationship and they said no never to which he gave them a stern look and then said i now must file a statement to allegations with 14 days but they get 3 weeks to respond
i asked about contact with my son, he said that will be done through solicitors to which i responded "i have contacted the solicitors and they have made no arrangements" so he said "they should pull their finger from their [censored] then". He said if i had recorded phonecalls then they should be listed on a cd and trans-scripted, her lawyer looked at my ex and said"do you know he tapes his calls" and she said "yeah some of them" lol
later that day her solicitors email me and say they can see i have started contact order and they will leave it to a judicial judge to decide the child's care!!
so i came out of court feeling very bullied but i stood tall and then the barrister chased me and started saying loudly "are you aware of a contested hearing you will lose and then that will lose your contact, you are silly not to accept the order and you really should" i just said see you in a few weeks and walked off 🙂
talk about harassment from her lawyer!!!
so now they got in my head and im wondering if should i do lose the non mol hearing even though she has no evidence and police never been involved....would that affect contact because i had email today saying my contact order hearing is scheduled for 4 weeks time
Hi There,
.
I'm not experienced enough to comment or give any advice, but I will flag this post up and hopefully one of the others with more experience will be on line soon to be able to give you some advise.
.
GTTS
thank you 🙂
Hi there
There no way to predict the outcome I'm afraid, but the judge has allowed you to transcribe your phone calls and use as evidence, which is positive.
It's the judges duty to advise that you seek legal advice and it's quite common for the other party's legal team to try tactical bullying to get a better outcome for their client. If you felt that you have enough evidence to contest the NMO you must be given that option, which has happened. We have had other members that have been successful and some not so.
It looks like the hearing for the NMO will take place before the contact matter, Sorry that should say..it looks like the contact hearing will take place before the NMO...doh!it's likely the contact hearing will be adjourned until after the NMO has been decided, this is generally what happens.
My advice would be to concentrate on your NMO, gather your evidence, prepare your statement and refer to the allegations in order and attach your evidence to the back of the statement. In the meantime please don't try to cotact your ex directly at all, it will only make matters worse.
As far as complaining about the judge for urging you to take an undertaking, I wouldn't advise that, its common for this to be offered, and quite a few will take it to get the contact side of things moving. As it's a civil case, the burden of proof is far less than it would be for a criminal case, a judge can decide that a NMO stands with very little evidence, on the balance of probability I'm afraid.
You could write to her solicitor and request that contact resume in a Contact Centre as your child will be missing you, but it's up to your ex whether to allow this, it's worth a try and is an indication of her obstructing contact.
You might benefit from attending a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, here's a link to their website where you'll find details of meetings being held nationally
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
Alternatively, some solicitors offer a free initial consultation, which you might find helpful.
Best of luck
i have contacted her solicitors a few times and they have said that because i have now started contact proceedings then they will leave it up to a judicial judge to make contact arrangements if any for my son 🙁
Sorrry to hear that, when you contacted them, did you ask them to consult with their client to discuss using a contact centre for supervised contact, as this is what is likely to be the outcome at the contact hearing.
I've also corrected something I wrote in my previous post...not important, but if the contact hearing happens first, they're likely to adjourn until after the NMO matter is decided....from what you say, the Contact hearing is in 4 weeks and the NMO is at least 5 weeks away.
yeah i had an email yesterday for the family court saying contact hearing is scheduled for the 28th september and i have to submit a statement for the nmo by the 13th sept and the other side have until the 3rd october to respond
so even if the nmo is still ongoing can i not ask for interim contact at the first hearing?
when i asked the barrister at my nmo hearing about an undertaking she said no that would not be possible the nmo would remain but without the criminal charge?? as i did say i would make an undertaking not to molest but contact between parents about child contact should remain and they point blank refused
in regards to what? refusing the undertaking?
I wouldn't take much notice of this poster, I've deleted his posts ....his small flurry of posts didn't seem to make any sense!
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