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Hello there,
It has been over six months since I have been permitted (by my estranged wife) from seeing my son. He used to stay with me for weeks at a time. At that time we used to share custody of him basically.
This all ended when I disagreed with her regarding my picking him up to come to my place. What My estranged wife wanted to do was what she usually does, which was to go around my flat fact finding. Often she would arbitrarily bring him to my home, with a few to his staying with me, and suddenly suddenly change her mind due to some fault she had found with the flat. She is a very controlling person. She has a medically diagnosed condition, Borderline Personality Disorder.
I am a retired psychiatric nurse with thirty four years service, and can assure you that this not an illness per se, but an actual personality type. She has been assaulted me twice - Once quite severely on 23/10/11 and the other in May of 2014 while my wee son witnessed it. The police were called on both occasions by me. The first time, I lied to them saying that I had bumped my head on a door accidentally whilst trying to enter the room because I was worried that she was deliberately self harming. This was not the case. She had beaten me up. The injuries sustained were sufficient enough to keep me away from work for around two weeks.
On the second occasion, the police were called (by me) whilst being attacked. The police attended, and whilst the constable who interviewed me was seen by a seperate officer. My biggest worry was my three year old child at this time who saw the above, and the impact it was having on him. The officer who interviewed me agreed that IO had been assaulted.
They then proceeded to give her (and my wee boy) a lift home. Yes, I know she should have been arrested.
There's more to it than all the above. I was allowed to speak to my son on the phone from around last September. This I did every night. I am terrified of the impact that this is all having on my son. She coached me into explaining to Tommy that I was ill. I was medically retired from work with PTSD. This had been treated with many months of excellent therapy. This helped very well.
A few weeks ago I refused to tell my son that I was "ill". Phone contact stopped by her decree. What this is doing to him is worrying me terribly. When he could still talk with me he would beg to come and stay with my.
I understand that I can obtain a form to bring this to court (I cannot afford a solicitor). Can you please tell me how I can do this?
I am so sick of this bully, and how she is affecting my son's life.
Thank you for listening to me.
Frank.
Hi Frank and welcome
I'm sorry to hear the situation you and your son are in and we will do our best to advise and support you.
Did she receive a caution in respect of the most recent assault on you? If this is a matter of record you may be able to claim legal aid funding to pay for a solicitor. Legal Aid was withdrawn for family law cases, with the exception of parties that have been victims of domestic violence. I would advise that you contact a family law solicitor that takes legal aid clients as soon as possible and they will be able to advise you further about this.
Usually the first step is to attend mediation, this is now mandatory before an application to the court can be made. However, as there has been domestic violence, you may be exempt from this.
Have a read of the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section, there's lots of info there about the court process.
I feel though that you may be eligible for Legal Aid and I would certainly advise you check this out first.
Best of luck.
No caution was issued. There was no legal action taken. I thought I'd described that we have been through the mediation process which achieved nothing. I have a Mckenzie Friend to accompany me to court. I cannot receive legal aid. How do I proceed with getting to court?
Many thanks for all your help.
...I've re read your initial post and you didn't mention anything about Mediation. If this happened more than 4 months ago then you will need to attend again, if it was less than 4 months ago you need to contact the mediator and ask them to sign the C100 form stating that mediation has been unsuccessful.
As far as the legal aid funding is concerned, there doesn't need to have been legal action taken, as long as the incident is on record (an incident report) you could still be eligible.
When you have the signed C100 form you can submit this to court, there is a fee of £215 to make the application. If you are receiving any benefits, or are on a low income you could be eligible for an exemption from the court fee and to apply for that you will need form EX160a.
You might benefit from attending a Families Need Fathers meeting if there is one in your area. It's a good place to meet others in a similar situation and to get advice and support. Here's a link to their webpage where you will find details of meetings nationally.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
Good luck.
I would just like to help you for your help.
Your dedication is admirable and I thank you.
You're very welcome Frank....please don't hesitate to get back to us if you are in need of further advice or support.
Best of luck with it.
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