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[Solved] feel completely defeated

 
 TTan
(@ttan)
Eminent Member Registered

Hi everybody
Today I had my fact finding hearing which was postponed for another 2 months due to lack of any information from my ex for previous case for domestic violence.5th time I was declined for any contact with my daughter including supervised telephone contact despite I haven't seen her for over 1,5 year now. I tried to explain to the court that on few occasions I was allowed to see her ,even have her overnight but they ignored it . I have evidence to that I am no treat at all to daughter.I had said to the judge that I believe my daughter is alienated and don't have any contact is hurting our relationship even more. I can provide some evidence to my concerns which I had with me but again they ignored it.Today before we went to the court room her barrister approached me, he said to me my ex willing to allow me have supervised contact. I think she was afraid to some point that I expose her , she may get herself in trouble .Once we went to the court room , we couldn't start proceedings due to lack of any knowledge from the judge to what happening in the case (already third time),I had to provide him all my copies from previous cases which I carried with me.I hoped at least we could start to move forward with this case but no, more delayes from July last year ,then let him decide how many days we may need to have extended .Also I was required to give my statement on paper,my response to her allegations which court calls it complains.
come to worst ,local authorisation provided to the court with the letter that my daughter is in great risk and they advice at that stage is not suitable for her to have any contact. This letter I should receive 2 weeks ago but got it just few min before my case started.
what's more funny they do believe the abuse was continued for some time but decided not to step in
it wasn't required as my ex acted appropriately. Situation doesn't require to do assessment to my child to don't stress her out
as my ex obtained non molestation order to stop my tyranny.
Now I'm waiting for the directions letter from the court and more of her bull$$$ allegation.
btw I was granted to send letters to my child through her solicitor which she'll probably never receive.
should I call it a good day in the office? I thought we could start fact finding hearing and expose some of her dirty tricks ,heehhh very disappointed.

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 07/02/2020 4:15 am
(@warwickshire1)
Prominent Member Registered

Today before we went to the court room her barrister approached me, he said to me my ex willing to allow me have supervised contact.

Hi, although not easy at time as you are in family court, but you should of took your ex's offer of supervised contact. This would of allowed you to build up contact with daughter and if all is well move forward slowly to unsupervised.

Also allegations maybe not that strong and lacking evidence so they may be easily laid to rest. what you do need to do is not to waste any time accusing ex of anything or trying to prove she is lying. you need to dismiss the allegations and put child 1st and get access as soon as possible. also her barrister doesn't seem the worst person around as you was offered supervised even though authorities were offerning indirect contact which is worse.

I am not sure if the bird has flown so to speak, but if you do change your mind maybe supervised contact is still on table if you contact your ex barrister. whatever happens in future its likely to start at supervised anyway so you are just moving forward quicker and may make you feel less frustrated if you are seeing your child again before next hearing
some barristers will obstruct all contact and some are looking out for children and wanting issues resolved and achieving best outcome for child

ReplyQuote
Posted : 07/02/2020 12:49 pm
 TTan
(@ttan)
Eminent Member Registered

thanks for your reply.
when me and him talk it looks like we could agree to some terms but once we went to the court room and she find out case gonna be delayed she changed her mind. Judge said in the best interest of child...bla bla bla but he relay on her decision .She said to judge my daughter is scared of me and don't want to see me .I said to judge I'll accept any terms he decide but let me have a any type of contact . Then ex spoke with her barrister for few min , agreed that I can send letters. Birthday and Christmas cards. to be honest I'm not trying to fight her ,just wanna expose that this is not what my daughter think. there never been any risk also present few text where she reward me with the visitation if I do something for her.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 07/02/2020 7:17 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

I agree with warwickshire - concentrate your efforts in getting as much contact as possible, that on it's own, over a period will cast doubt on any accusations by your ex.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10/02/2020 4:23 pm
 TTan
(@ttan)
Eminent Member Registered

thanks
I'm trying to stay focus on my daughter but is that the judge don't wanna listen to me .
I saw my daughter twice since separation and there was no treat to her I have pictures and videos( to keep that special moment which was taken away from me) shows my daughter is perfectly fine to be around me but I'm still denied any type of contact .my ex accused me for attempt of kidnapping but I have full proof that what I wanted was to take her for ice cream and show that I still love her.
social worker wrote the letter that It break my heart, the lies are to hard to ignore it.
i don't care for my ex, i don't care for the accusations but i feel like the judges are bias and to think about it
he calls my story complains.doesn't even read my statement I pointed out throughout marriage I looked after my daughter collecting her from school taking for activities everyday for years even when my ex left we spoke to each other I let her come to my home take what she needs, wash clothes give bath to my daughter tried to be helpful ,just before accusations my daughter called me for 3 days in a row and we talk to each other.
all this is frustrating because nobody want to acknowledge it and still calling me abuser and I use my daughter as a tool against my ex then you wait months for thing to start and gets delayed and.I know my daughter needs me she told me that in my face and it hurts because I am not allowed to even hear her voice

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 13/02/2020 5:32 am
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