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Our son is distraught that after splitting access has been made very difficult for him. His distress has caused him to self harm. He has never threatened his wife or children in any way . But having access while living 200+ miles away is proving very difficult adding to his distress. His wife is a teacher so he asked to have the children for 8 days in total in August with us (where the children have been and stayed many times) but she refused playing his self harming card. He works for himself so regular access days are difficult. He has asked to see them on a Wednesday but again as its her day off she wants to see them. She sees them everyday! She also says she cant let them go away as she would miss them but expects our son not see them for weeks.
He wants to be a dad and misses the children terribly but seems there is nothing he can do. Or is there?
He's going to need to arrange for mediation in the first instance, the idea of an independent person being involved might make her a bit more reasonable. Take a look at www.nfm.org.uk
It would also be worth him getting counseling on the self harm, both for his own good, and also so he can show the court he's working on this if it does go to court for access.
Hi There,
As actd has said, without any order in place at the moment the mother can call the shots, if he firstly tries mediation if that doesn't work, he can apply to the family courts for an order to be made.
If he ends up in court she will probably bring up the self harm, so as already said if he can get ahead of that and start to address this now, then he will help him self if he ends up in court.
It may be worth trying to get him to join and talk to us here online, many of us have been through similar and know what he is going through, I went 5 years without seeing my son, but I am finally coming through the other side.
It can help to talk with people who have been through similar, I have always found this site so helpful, and we support everyone.
GTTS
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