Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
As the Legal Advice category is quiet these days, I thought I would post this here.
To briefly recap on previous posts: my ex suddenly decided a week before the end of summer term that she wanted to pull our daughter out of school for the next academic year (for all the wrong reasons), she was just about to do it, but I got an application for a PSO filed just in time, which was enough to stop her for the meantime. The court initially ordered for our daughter to remain in school until a final decision has been made. My ex missed the second hearing, and this has now been postponed until late January. At the beginning of all this, regarding being schooled at home and not returning to her usual school in September, my daughter literally said to me 'mummy said I don't have a choice'. This sums it all up. My daughter never wanted to be taken out of school. I told the court this in a position statement, as well as providing other evidence that our daughter was happy having returned to school in September.
Now, my ex has just sent me a message to say our daughter has said outright that she wants to remain at school (which is what I've been telling the court all along!), and she is asking to cancel the court proceedings.
Firstly, I'm not sure how that would work. Secondly, it's likely our daughter told her mum this ages ago, but my ex is having a panic and can't bare losing face if the court don't rule in her favour in January, which I personally don't think they will, and I think that's why she was a no-show at the last hearing (this is the type of character she is). Thirdly, I have paid upwards of £200 to try and keep my daughter in school, for my ex to turn around months later and tell me she has basically changed her mind after all, which feels like a huge waster of time, energy, and money. Knowing my ex, and her narcissism, for her this feels the least painful way out - that she would have a better chance of saving face by making out that our daughter's desire to remain in school is what has brought on this change of mind and the court application being cancelled, and knowing that it has cost me money to fight this battle than by 'losing' the hearing come January.
Any advice on what I should do would be appreciated. The best case scenario would be that, whether we do the hearing in January or not, that the judge would see through my ex and see how she has just wasted everyone's time, not to mention played with our daughter's emotions (she has been filling her in on all the court details, as usual), and would refund me my court fee. Is this wishful thinking?
NEVER cancel a family court hearing if an ex tells you to. The hearing must go ahead now and you can let judge order the things you are requesting ie daughter staying at same school.
If your ex kicks up a fuss there is no reason why you cant say to her that you are willing to be amicable and you want whatever you are asking dealt with by court which can be by agreement.
Cancel hearing and some but not all then cause problems again and you end up wishing you never cancelled it.
They know the whole process will cost money and there will be major delays again .
There's no guarantee that if you cancel the hearing, the problem will be solved. Best to continue to be on the safe side. If the court finds in your favour then you might be able to ask for costs against your ex. The court won't refund your fee as they have processed the application and there has already been a hearing.
Thanks for your responses. It does seem wise to go ahead with the resolution hearing in January.
Champagne, when you say I may be able to ask for costs against my ex, but not have my fee refunded, what do you mean?
Apologies for not making it clear. If the court finds in your favour then the court could order your ex to pay your costs which would be your court fee. You would have to ask for this. It might stir up more trouble than it is worth though.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.