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Hi
I spilt with wife 2 years ago and sold family home last year and both brought new homes. No divorce yet but will start process soon. I have my 2 kids 2-3 nights a week. I have since met a new partner and there have been some issues.
My new partner got drunk one night and decided to go to my ex’s house ( not a wise move I know!). Obviously this never went down too well. They have since met up and talked which was good.
However a few weeks back my partner tried to have an argument with me at my house when the kids had just gone to bed. I’m not into the whole argument thing so ignored it. My kids did however hear it. My partner went to her house that night.The next morning my partner came back and waited for my ex to pick up the kids before trying to argue with her about interfering in our new relationship. The kids were put in the car beforehand. Anyway I ended up having to remove my partner from my house once ex had left.
This resulted in police accusations and social services call as the kids were in the house during a domestic incident! These were all dropped and ss spoken to who were closing case once aware of what happened. That night my partner appeared near my ex's house and was again pissed. She never went to the house and was taken home by neighbours.
My ex wife has now written to me asking me to sign a letter stating that my children have no contact with my partner including the holiday booked for summer and that if I don’t sign then she seek legal advise.
We have no official contact agreements as we both work shifts and she works out of country so we have kids when not at work. It was fairly amicable up to this.
What can she legally do as I thought when they are with me I have say who they do or do not see? My partner has never been anything but great with my kids and poses no danger to them. She even has enhanced dbs for her job so I know there are no other issues.
This has put strains on both the relationship with my new partner and with my ex as I’ve tried to keep things as amicable as possible for the kids sake.
Sorry for long winded story!
I am separated for over a year and I am going through the divorce process.
Your wife can only stop the children from seeing people when with you with a court order.. and she would have to prove that the person was a danger to your children.
I am sorry to say this but if she gets drunk and causes arguments around your children and also going to your ex’s house I would feel the same way.
I know by the new gf getting drunk and going to the ex’s house has caused the issues, I just wanted to know what she can do legally.
Thanks for replying
if she does take the legal route, cafcass would make a big deal out of this. expecially the part about you arguing with your partner, and your children hearing about it. they dont like children getting caught up in ugly fights between adults, as it can damage them emotionally.
Legally, she can do what she likes as there isn't a court order in place.
Given the issues so far, Cafcass and the court would probably side with your ex tbh - her behaviour doesn't sound acceptable.
Best of luck
frankly you will need to keep your partner under control, or she could cause big problems for you in future.
also send this to both of them 🙂
It might be worth pointing out to your partner that if she continues this behaviour, and the police get involved, it will almost certainly affect her enhanced DBS check.
Thanks for all your replies, I am going to proceed forward with not involving my partner with my children until things settle down. (However long that takes). I am going to start divorce proceedings with the ex which hopefully we can do ourselves as we both don’t want to pay exterminate money to solicitors. Fingers crossed
... I think that’s a sensible approach, it might be a good idea to talk to your gf about the consequences of her actions and what you can both do as a couple, to stop it happening again.
There’s a time for fun and partying and a time for family... your gf will need to understand that if your relationship is to last.
All the best
There are specialist companies that do all of the paperwork for a fraction of the cost of a solicitor - I used one and it was definitely worthwhile.
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