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Hello.
Incoming long winded story that I need some advice on.
On 6th July I obtained a court order which granted me unsupervised access (6 hours out in the community for 3 months then overnight stays to be awarded at final hearing in September).
I've seen my 2 older children once in this capacity since (the 2nd session I ask if it could be changed from the Saturday to a day in the following week as I had bought a car - I'd had to spend the best part of 10 hours using public transport to get to see them the first session)
The first session went amazingly well. Me and the kids had an amazing time. It was hot but we played and spent all day having fun. They were picked up at 6 by my ex who then sent me loads of messages saying my oldest son was in a massive state. He'd run off from her and had a massive meltdown.
(My ex is very frugal with honesty btw and has been consistently hostile to me having contact unless it's on her terms - contact centre....which I did for the best part of 9 months both supervised and supported... even took my 5 year old son along with me lol)
Anyway fast forward to the last 2 days (after requesting our session be put back a few days - for a logical and understandable reason it has been ignored) I received a long list of "concerns" from cafcass that my ex partner had - basically nitpicking because my oldest son now has a made up gluten+wheat+dairy intolerance and I let him have 2 sips of milkshake and a couple of chicken nuggets...i also took my kids round the town shopping. I know horrific acts.
Then last night she proceeded to block me from the kids Xbox live accounts. For no other reason than to be antagonistic.(indirect contact was also court ordered and she has blocked all ways to do that)
Now I'm due to see the kids next week and I know for a fact she is not going to turn up and ignore the court order -
What do I do. Go to court straight away for an urgent- without notice hearing for an enforcement order or do I just bide my time and use the evidence I have obtained that shows her not complying or go to her house (which she doesn't want me to know the address - again to be awkward) on the Saturday after she hasn't turned up and say. I've come to pick the kids up.
I'm stuck because she is a massive ****, her husband is just the same and so is her mum. All totally abhorrent,sly, narcisstic, lying and very very deluded.
It's as anonymous as possible but you can see what she is doing.
I will add I have a 5 year old and newborn baby living with me and no history of anything other than being a loving parent (albeit sarcastic)
This is my first post.
Whatever you do, dont go to her house!
My advice would be to stick to the arrangement as it is, make sure your oldest son sticks to a gluten free diet when he's with you, whether you believe he needs to or not and contact CAFCASS to assure them that the children had an amazing time with you, but you will avoid shopping centres and take some gluten free foods with you for your son, to ensure his diet is adhered to.
You could also ask them to speak to your ex about facilitating the court ordered indirect contact, mentioning that this has now been blocked, which isn't in the children's best interests.
Share your concerns that contact will be withheld for the next session, explain that the travel time of 10hrs caused a huge problem logistically and that you now have a car for the purpose of improving that situation.
Mention that you had contacted her to discuss moving the next session due to the travel time, but on reflection you appreciate that sticking to the ordered routine is better for the children. However as she had ignored your request you're very concerned that she will breach the order and not turn up, ask them if they could seek clarification from her about this.
If she breaches the order, you have options...
You can write to the judge that made the order (email the court with the case number and put across the top : for the attention of : (name of judge)) and tell them about the breaches with both direct and indirect contact and request urgent new directions to address this matter.
You can submit form C2 to add a new application to the existing case, for enforcement.
You can wait until September and the next hearing, keeping a record of the breaches to tell the court.
If it were me I would email the court and ask for urgent new directions, copying in your ex.
All the best
You are also in your rights, as you have parental responsibility, to view your son's medical records. This would answer questions you have about the sudden allergies he now seems to have.
Contact his GP, you may need his birth certificate to prove parental responsibility in order to view his records but you can get a copy of his birth certificate from the county registry offices.
But in the mean time, as mojo says, provide him with a gluten/dairy free diet.
Thankyou for replying.
I've spoken to cafcass aswell as emailing the officer with photos - They show the children are very happy in my company- and screen shots - which show that her concerns were dealt with at the time in an amicable way.
I also informed cafcass I have c79 filled out ready to send because this is the second time she has not complied with court orders and she even emailed to say "court orders aren't worth the paper they are printed on nothing will happen to me"
The Cafcass officer is really good though. He submitted a section 7 that was genuinely in the kids interest. He said he will challenge her because I have a very plausible explanation to the first session.
She's just very awkward and sly and extremely dishonest and narcissistic. Imagine Donald trump in a custody battle and you kind of get the idea lol
If you submit a separate C79 form for enforcement, it will be joined to the existing case. The procedure is to submit a C2 form to make an application for a new order in existing proceedings and it may be slightly cheaper.
I've already got ex160 as I'm on low income and as I'm representing myself I have no solicitors fees.
I've not done too bad. Got the order I wanted and managed to get 2 cafcass workers sacked. I've already had full disclosure from the kids doctors and received loads of stuff that causes concern. So much so that they are added to the safeguarding register.
I've already got ex160 as I'm on low income and as I'm representing myself I have no solicitors fees.
I've not done too bad. Got the order I wanted and managed to get 2 cafcass workers sacked. I've already had full disclosure from the kids doctors and received loads of stuff that causes concern. So much so that they are added to the safeguarding register.
Ah ok... you're doing just fine by the sound of it, and hopefully you'll stick around and share your experience with others. Best of luck
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