[Solved] Everything stacked against me.. It seems

Hi Devo

I haven't got lots of advice I'm sure the dad's have got more than I have but fact finding hearing go on the statements you both submit to court it very important when you go to your hearing in January that you remember what you have wrote on your statement because that's what you will be questioned on at the hearing

The fact finding hearing is a chance to put your side to things across to the judge if it goes your way you will get access to your children it just depends on the results

Does seem odd to me that you ex keeps making new allegations I know when people first split up there normally allergations made from both sides and things can get bitter but it does seem her aim is to prevent you from seeing you children which is wrong

I feel that all father's should see their children no matter what they have done in the past I certainly don't want my son to not see his father

Hope things work out for you

Stick in there, Everything does seem like its all against you right up until the final hearing, there is no 2 ways about it you've just got to take all the [censored] and carry on you will get there in the end, Theres nothing worse than being stopped from seeing your child and it will be by far the hardest thing in life you will ever have to deal with, I found it worse than family members passing away. I never seen my girl for the first year of her life I missed out on her sitting up, rolling over, crawling, walking and talking My first fathers day without her was THE darkest day of my life then my birthday and her 1st birthday, I will never ever forgive my ex for that, Try not to let it all take over your life, I buried my head in work, got plenty of exercise, leaned on friends and family, kept posting on here and took up hobbies which im still doing today. Take all the [censored] like water off a ducks back, dont get disheartened, make sure youre whiter than white jump through all the hoops tick all the boxes and never give in pal.

Take care

Slim

My wife is doing the same. The annoying thing is, I requested to CAFCASS and the courts that fact finding hearing should be carried out. But my wife....who is accusing me of all of this rubbish, has refused a fact finding hearing so they are not going to allow it? Why does she get to decide if there is one or not. She knows I have the evidence to prove her wrong, thats why. It is a real shame, and I feel CAFCASS are not suggesting the fact finding because they are afraid. they dont want to be exposed for being made fools of by my wife. CAFCASS have fallen hook, line and sinker with this one and they dont want to admit they have made a MASSIVE mistake.

@ Devo - Courts very rarely make no contact orders. You just have to stick with the process and jump through the hoops. It's positive that Cafcass wanted interim contact and you've got a 3 day fact finding to try and put this all to bed. Any gap in contact is not good for the children and the court and Cafcass know this. Hang on in there.

hi,

you should be glad a fact finding was not done. it could extend the court process by possibly another 3 months or more. and it could backfire on you if judges/cafcass make stupid decisions about you. they can be easily swayed by ex's false allegations and take it as fact.

also its not a good idea to go to war with Cafcass. would be pointless. you need them on your side.

@ferfer - if the court proceedings can move forward without a fact finding, you will find they move forward much more quickly. If Cafcass are recommending progression without a fact finding, it will save everyone a lot of time and heartache. Are you with magistrates or a judge?

Hi Yoda. Thank you for your advice. Today I had a call from early years help, about the emotional care packages they have in place for my children. The lady I speak to, for the first time ever, asked Me, do I think my wife's allegations are her being malicious?? I very gracefully answered yes absolutely, and I still can't believe it's come to this. The woman who I truly loved, and married 14 years ago, has turned into a spiteful, nasty woman. I just don't understand it. The one woman who said to me, darling I would never ever stop you seeing our children, if ever we split up.... She cheated on me again, emptied our account then left me homeless, and living in my car with my wheelchair in the back.. There are no words anymore... And on it goes...

Defo push for the contact centre yourself they are ideal to avoid any more confrontation with the ex, Its a bit daunting at first but if you're seen to be enthusiastic about it it will be all good and they are actually good places for your child to get to know you again if you havent seen them for a long period of time. Looking back the centre staff were bitches from [censored] but it worked for me.

Hi Yoda, it is with a judge. The reason I want a fact finding hearing is because I can prove all of her accusations wrong, CAFCASS would not hear it when I tried to show them. For example, my ex has accused me of criminal damage which CAFCASS still think I did. I wanted to show them that I was in France at the time of this allegation visiting my brother, i have boarding passes, photos and much more to prove them wrong. She claims I have breached the non mol order too, the police have no record of this, the police also have no records of the various call outs she claims she made. Her lies are ridiculous, but CAFCASS are taking every word from her as truth and only allowing supervised contact becaus ethey think i am a maniac.it is ridiculous how they will not allow me to shoe evidence, the CAFCASS officer said "you could have made all of this up, how do i know these messages are real or that boarding pass is isnt fake" that is what they said to me, so I can prove my ex is lying, but they would rather take the womens side in all of this, Does anyone else not think this is unfair?

By pass cafcass and ask to court for permission to get your evidence in front of the judge as Part of your statement

Hi Slim. How do i push for contact centre under supervision to see my children? At the last hearing the cafcass lady was recommending interim contact with my children, in a contact centre. then she went to speak to my wife, and was told they were going to recommend interim contact for me. she then came out with 2 more allegations, again all lies. Then no contact was recommended. I spoke with social services and they said shes never mentioned this before.. Just funny that I got a little closer to see my babies, and then she put a spanner in the works... And on it goes..